Scott Oldford Site

Tag: How to become a better writer

  • How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

    How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

    It’s fashionable these days to be flexible in all areas of life.

    The demands of your job are always changing, your family dynamic is in perpetual flux and news breaks in a flash.You have to adapt or you’ll be left behind.

    However, I’m here to tell you that being too flexible can actually hurt your writing career.

    If you don’t have a strong, unwavering foundation, our frenzied world will swallow you up.

    And nothing is more vulnerable in this regard than your writing — the next “urgent” matter is always waiting around the corner to commandeer whatever time you thought you had to write.

    Only by standing steadfast in your convictions can you protect your writing career against the ravages of the mayhem.

    Here are three ways being inflexible can actually make you a better writer.

    1. Finish what you start

    Writers tend to be creative sorts, which is great for coming up with story ideas, but can be lousy for fulfilling long-term dreams.

    The problem is that we often have so many ideas that it can be hard to stay focused on the project in front of us. It’s infinitely more exciting, after all, to start on something new than to plug away at the novel we’ve been writing for the last two months.

    The truth is, though, that writing is like every other job — sometimes it really is just a job.

    You have to grind through the tough and boring tasks of filling in your story and developing your characters if you want to reach your ultimate goals.

    How many abandoned novels or blog posts do you have lying around right now? If you’re like most authors, the answer is, “too many.”

    Wouldn’t you have been closer to “success” — however you define that — if you had managed to actually finish just half of those stunted works rather than moving on to something shiny and new when the going got tough?

    I know I would have.

    Be flexible with the projects you consider, but once you commit to something, you need to become rigid in your determination to see it through.

    Be inflexible when your mind tries to tell you that a sparkly vampire YA novel would be so much more fun than the Western you’re halfway through.

    Hold fast to your original conviction and finish what you started.

    become a better writer2. Protect your writing time

    We’re really good at doing things for other people, and we hardly ever miss an “appointment” that impacts someone other than ourselves.

    When was the last time you bagged a meeting at work or failed to pick up your son from soccer practice? You probably can’t even remember.

    But when was the last time you went a day without hitting your writing goals or without writing at all? It probably happens all the time, or at least more frequently than you would like.

    The problem is we inherently love to please people, and we hate to disappoint them. We’ll go out of our way to make sure we serve those around us even if that means missing out on something we really want to do.

    You can fix this situation starting today, though, and you can do it without compromising on your commitments and without feeling guilty. The solution starts and ends with your daily calendar.

    Specifically, you need to find the open spots in your calendar every day and then actually schedule them as writing times just like you would any other appointment. Tell everyone who might be affected by your schedule and share your electronic calendar with them if possible.

    Now, the tough part — stick to your schedule!

    You wouldn’t leave your son standing out in the rain after practice just because your neighbor asked you to help move some furniture, and you shouldn’t give up your writing appointment, either.

    Make the time commitments to yourself and to your writing, and then be inflexible with regard to that schedule. Nothing short of a bloody emergency should keep your butt from that chair or your fingers from that keyboard.

    3. Keep writing

    Writing is hard, and it’s hard in all sorts of ways.

    It’s hard to sit down and write every day when you know there will be days that the words just won’t come. It’s hard to keep pushing through your novel when it takes you a month to write 20 pages and you have 200 more to go. It’s hard to identify yourself as a writer when you haven’t published anything and you hold down a full-time job that doesn’t involve any sort of writing.

    You know what’s easy? Giving up.

    But you can’t do that because you are a writer. I know you are because you’re reading this article. You have stories to tell and messages to deliver to the world, and you need to accept that your words are worth hearing, worth all the hard days and nights.

    You must be inflexible in your resolve to become the writer you know, deep in your soul, you’re supposed to be.

    It’s a fast-moving world out there, and you can’t afford to stand still.

    But if you don’t tap into the power that a little inflexibility can impart, your author self may get swept away in the tide of constant change.

    Stand strong on your writing foundation, though, and you’ll be able to endure the chaos around you and ultimately achieve your goals.

    What do you think? Can being inflexible actually help your writing? Let us know in the comments.

  • Stop Obsessing Over Criticism: 3 Steps to Emotional Resilience for Writers

    Stop Obsessing Over Criticism: 3 Steps to Emotional Resilience for Writers

    It’s ironic.

    Writing and freelancing are careers that require an enormous amount of resilience. But what I’ve found, through my interactions with writers and other creatives, is that we are some of the least emotionally resilient people out there. Many of us are sensitive and emotional — it comes with the gift of creativity.

    We feel life on a deeper level, and we are moved to express ourselves because of this. We should accept our sensitive natures as something that makes us unique, but when it gets in the way of a successful writing career, we need to take notice.

    As professional writers, it’s vitally important  we don’t crumble at the occurrence, or even just the thought of rejection. Our livelihoods depend on our ability to press on through adversity.

    But how do we change our fundamental nature? While it’s unlikely  we’ll be able to change our inherent personality traits, we can learn to recognize them when they get in the way — and in some cases, even use them to our advantage.

    Here are three steps to cultivating stronger emotional resilience.

    1. Realize when you’re “hooked”

    I’ll admit it: I have a stereotypical writer’s brain. Dreamy, anxious, slightly obsessive.

    I recently received some constructive, but slightly discouraging feedback on a piece I wrote. It was one of those times I thought I’d done really well, but actually missed the mark. I was disappointed in myself, and that’s normal — but my brain took it to the next level.

    It happens to me all the time — I hear a less than positive comment about my work, and I mark it as the inevitable end of my career — the final proof needed to affirm my belief I am not good enough to do this writing thing.

    The initial, small negative thought usually snowballs into a huge one: Bad writing. Bad writer. Bad person. (Okay, I admit I may be more than slightly obsessive.)

    At this point, I was what author and psychologist Susan David, PhD, would call, “hooked.”

    In her book, Emotional Agility, David explains that we are often unaware of when we become “hooked” by a negative thought loop. Like a broken record, the same old story plays over and over:

    I’m such a failure. I never do anything right.

    My life is a mess. I always have bad luck.

    These types of thoughts can become so habitual we hardly notice them — they’ve become part of our mental environment. But these thoughts all have common themes, and you can learn to recognize them when you make the effort.

    For example, thinking in absolutes — using word like “always,” “never,” and “forever.”

    If you recognize yourself using one of these words, it’s time to do what Susan David calls, “stepping out.”

    Reframe each phrase:

    Change “I’m a failure” to “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.”

    This creates a space in between the thought, and our emotional reaction.

    “I’m a failure,” is stated like fact — one we’re liable to start believing if we think it enough.

    “I’m having the thought that I am a failure,” reveals the true nature of this phrase as nothing more than a thought — and one that isn’t necessarily true.

    2. Ask, “Are these thoughts serving me?”

    There is always one point during my negative ruminations that a small but firm, rational voice says, “Enough already.”

    In my brooding about the criticism, I did have a moment of clarity. I thought,

    Is obsessing over this helping me get where I want to be?

    I thought about what I truly wanted — a healthy career in writing, doing what I love.

    Obsessing over this negative feedback and believing all of my discouraging, insecure thoughts was actually causing me to back pedal. While my brain was hijacked by negativity, my creativity was blocked. I wasn’t able to write or be productive.

    Not because of the criticism about my writing, because of the thoughts I was having about the criticism.

    If your thoughts aren’t serving you, allow yourself to let them go. This is easier said than done, of course, but with practice, letting go of useless negative thoughts can keep you from sliding into fear-based habits like avoidance and procrastination.

    3. Focus on your values, and forget everything else

    Failing to accomplish a specific goal can be incredibly disappointing. But what if you forgot about your goals for a minute and focused on your values?

    Values are more than just a moral code. They are what you want your life to be about, some examples being compassion, loyalty or balance. The difference between a goal and a value is that goals can be objectively attained or accomplished. Values cannot.

    Steven C. Hayes, Ph.D, professor of psychology and author of the book, Get Out of Your Mind, and Into Your Life, explains it this way:

    “Values are never possessed as objects, because they are qualities of unfolding actions, not of particular things.”

    Here are three of my core values: Honesty, authenticity, creativity.

    Looking back at my recent meltdown, it’s true that I did not meet my goal of getting my writing approved of by an editor. But in taking the time, energy and intention to write, was I not living out my core value of creativity? By taking the risk of exposing my personal art to the world, wasn’t I staying true to my values of honesty and authenticity?

    The time and effort I used to write that piece, with all its imperfections, wasn’t wasted. It was used in the service of my deepest values.

    Framing it this way, how could I possible feel like a failure?

    The bottom line: When you learn to view your thoughts as just thoughts, and focus on what matters most in your life, you can be free from the negative thought patterns that don’t serve you, and handle criticism with grace.

    After all, criticism means you’ve used your words to create something, and isn’t that what the craft of writing is all about?

    How do you “unhook” from negative thoughts? Share your ideas in the comments!

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  • How to Become a Better Writer: 4 Ways to Deal With Criticism

    How to Become a Better Writer: 4 Ways to Deal With Criticism

    There’s a reason many of us writers refer to our projects as our “babies.” We’ve spent days, months, or even years nurturing the idea and breathing life into every sentence.

    After that intimate and solitary process, it can be nerve-wracking to ask others for feedback.

    Even when we’re less invested in a project — say, a quick blog post for a client — it can still sting to receive criticism.

    Although feedback is incredibly valuable, I still find this part of the writing process to be terrifying whether I’m writing an article for a client or sharing my novel with a beta reader.

    Most writers will have to deal with negative feedback about their work throughout their careers, and that’s a good thing! Hearing thoughtful criticism on your work is what helps you learn how to become a better writer — but only if you’re receptive to it.

    First things first: Change your mindset

    Before you receive your next round of criticism, practice thinking of feedback as a gift.

    Every time someone comments on your work, good or bad, it makes your writing stronger. It’s not a negative reflection on you, it’s an opportunity to become a better writer.

    Plus, thoughtful feedback isn’t easy to give. If you’ve found a thorough first reader, an insightful editor or a client who’s really able to articulate their needs and collaborate during the writing process, cherish their involvement! It really is a gift to work with people like that.

    After I consciously focused on shifting my own mindset about difficult feedback, I began to look forward to honest criticism — and even to solicit it from clients, editors, and beta readers.

    Once you’re prepared with a positive mindset about negative feedback, here’s how to deal with it in the moment.

    Step 1: Take a deep breath

    It’s okay if your first response is anger, frustration or guilt — that’s completely natural. But what you shouldn’t do is stew in that emotion, or let it direct your response.  

    Take a deep breath, then spend a few moments collecting your thoughts. If you have time,  take a walk, call a friend, or do something fun to otherwise distract yourself. After you’ve cleared your head, come back and consider your response.

    Step 2: Vet your source

    Not all critics are created equal, and not all feedback should be taken to heart.

    When you’re first starting out, you may not have developed your own internal compass. You may be overly confident in your work, or give too much weight to someone who doesn’t really know what they’re talking about.

    As you become a better writer, you develop a stronger personal rudder to help you self-edit and navigate feedback — but even when you know someone’s wrong it can still send you into a tizzy.

    I once had a beta reader for a novella tell me only that she didn’t like it, and it didn’t make any sense. When I pressed her for more specific criticism, she said she didn’t have time to clarify.

    Obviously not helpful, but just ask my husband about how I spent the next 24 hours stewing over whether or not I was a good writer!

    Step 3: Categorize what you’re hearing

    Once you’ve had a chance to cool down, go through the feedback again and try to understand exactly what you’re being told.

    Is it a problem with how you are handling the topic? Do you need to tweak the voice? Did you not understand the assignment? If you’re writing fiction, is the problem with your story, your characters or your prose?

    Taking this step will help you understand exactly how to fix the problem. At first glance it can often seem like everything is wrong — but when you start to categorize the feedback you’ll often see there are only one or two small things that need changed.

    Step 4: Ask for clarification

    Even if you think you completely understand the feedback, take a few minutes to make sure you’re on the same page. You may want to summarize the changes the person is asking for in an email, or hop on the phone to talk it through.

    This is especially helpful if the feedback is from a client or editor — communicating with your clients can avoid future rounds of rewrites by clarifying things before diving into editing.

    Do you have any favorite tips for dealing with difficult feedback? Let us know in the comments.