The Worst Ways to Begin Your Novel: Advice from Literary Agents

The Worst Ways to Begin Your Novel: Advice from Literary Agents

This column is excerpted from Guide to Literary Agents, from Writer’s Digest Books.

No one reads more prospective novel beginnings than literary agents.

They’re the ones on the front lines, sifting through inboxes and slush piles. And they can tell us which Chapter One approaches are overused and cliché, as well as which writing techniques just plain don’t work when you’re writing a book.

Below, find a smattering of feedback from experienced literary agents on what they hate to see in the first pages of a writer’s submission. Consider it a guide on how to start a novel. Avoid these problems and tighten your submission!

False beginnings

“I don’t like it when the main character dies at the end of Chapter One. Why did I just spend all this time with this character? I feel cheated.”
Cricket Freeman, The August Agency

“I dislike opening scenes that you think are real, then the protagonist wakes up. It makes me feel cheated.”
Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary

In science fiction

“A sci-fi novel that spends the first two pages describing the strange landscape.”
Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary

worstwaystobegin

Prologues

“I’m not a fan of prologues, preferring to find myself in the midst of a moving plot on page one rather than being kept outside of it, or eased into it.”
Michelle Andelman, Regal Literary

“Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written.”
Andrea Brown, Andrea Brown Literary Agency

“Prologues are usually a lazy way to give back-story chunks to the reader and can be handled with more finesse throughout the story. Damn the prologue, full speed ahead!”
Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary

damntheprologue

Quick note from Chuck: I am now taking on clients as a freelance editor. If your query or synopsis or manuscript needs a look from a professional, please consider my editing services. Thanks!

Exposition and description

“Perhaps my biggest pet peeve with an opening chapter is when an author features too much exposition – when they go beyond what is necessary for simply ‘setting the scene.’ I want to feel as if I’m in the hands of a master storyteller, and starting a story with long, flowery, overly-descriptive sentences (kind of like this one) makes the writer seem amateurish and the story contrived. Of course, an equally jarring beginning can be nearly as off-putting, and I hesitate to read on if I’m feeling disoriented by the fifth page. I enjoy when writers can find a good balance between exposition and mystery. Too much accounting always ruins the mystery of a novel, and the unknown is what propels us to read further.”
Peter Miller, PMA Literary and Film Management

“The [adjective] [adjective] sun rose in the [adjective] [adjective] sky, shedding its [adjective] light across the [adjective] [adjective] [adjective] land.”
Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary

“I dislike endless ‘laundry list’ character descriptions. For example: ‘She had eyes the color of a summer sky and long blonde hair that fell in ringlets past her shoulders. Her petite nose was the perfect size for her heart-shaped face. Her azure dress — with the empire waist and long, tight sleeves — sported tiny pearl buttons down the bodice. Ivory lace peeked out of the hem in front, blah, blah.’ Who cares! Work it into the story.”
Laurie McLean, Foreword Literary

Starting too slowly

“Characters that are moving around doing little things, but essentially nothing. Washing dishes & thinking, staring out the window & thinking, tying shoes, thinking.”
Dan Lazar, Writers House

“I don’t really like ‘first day of school’ beginnings, ‘from the beginning of time,’ or ‘once upon a time.’ Specifically, I dislike a Chapter One in which nothing happens.”
Jessica Regel, Foundry Literary + Media

In crime fiction

“Someone squinting into the sunlight with a hangover in a crime novel. Good grief — been done a million times.”
Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary

In fantasy

“Cliché openings in fantasy can include an opening scene set in a battle (and my peeve is that I don’t know any of the characters yet so why should I care about this battle) or with a pastoral scene where the protagonist is gathering herbs (I didn’t realize how common this is).”
Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary

Quick note from Chuck: if you’re looking for a writing conference, perhaps one of these below is in your neck of the woods. I’ll be presenting at the following events in 2017:

Voice

“I know this may sound obvious, but too much ‘telling’ vs. ‘showing’ in the first chapter is a definite warning sign for me. The first chapter should present a compelling scene, not a road map for the rest of the book. The goal is to make the reader curious about your characters, fill their heads with questions that must be answered, not fill them in on exactly where, when, who and how.”
Emily Sylvan Kim, Prospect Agency

“I hate reading purple prose – describing something so beautifully that has nothing to do with the actual story.”
Cherry Weiner, Cherry Weiner Literary

“A cheesy hook drives me nuts. They say ‘Open with a hook!’ to grab the reader. That’s true, but there’s a fine line between an intriguing hook and one that’s just silly. An example of a silly hook would be opening with a line of overtly sexual dialogue.”
Daniel Lazar, Writers House

“I don’t like an opening line that’s ‘My name is…,’ introducing the narrator to the reader so blatantly. There are far better ways in Chapter One to establish an instant connection between narrator and reader.”
Michelle Andelman, Regal Literary

“Sometimes a reasonably good writer will create an interesting character and describe him in a compelling way, but then he’ll turn out to be some unimportant bit player.”
Ellen Pepus, Signature Literary Agency

In romance

“In romance, I can’t stand this scenario: A woman is awakened to find a strange man in her bedroom — and then automatically finds him attractive. I’m sorry, but if I awoke to a strange man in my bedroom, I’d be reaching for a weapon — not admiring the view.”
Kristin Nelson, Nelson Literary Agency

In a Christian novel

“A rape scene in a Christian novel in the first chapter.”
Chip MacGregor, MacGregor Literary

Characters and backstory

“I don’t like descriptions of the characters where writers make them too perfect. Heroines (and heroes) who are described physically as being virtually unflawed come across as unrelatable and boring. No ‘flowing, wind-swept golden locks’; no ‘eyes as blue as the sky’; no ‘willowy, perfect figures.’ ”
Laura Bradford, Bradford Literary Agency

“Many writers express the character’s backstory before they get to the plot. Good writers will go back and cut that stuff out and get right to the plot. The character’s backstory stays with them — it’s in their DNA.”
Adam Chromy, Movable Type Management

“I’m turned off when a writer feels the need to fill in all the backstory before starting the story; a story that opens on the protagonist’s mental reflection of their situation is a red flag.”
Stephany Evans, FinePrint Literary Management

“One of the biggest problems is the ‘information dump’ in the first few pages, where the author is trying to tell us everything we supposedly need to know to understand the story. Getting to know characters in a story is like getting to know people in real life. You find out their personality and details of their life over time.”
Rachelle Gardner, Books & Such Literary

Other TWL Guest Posts by Chuck Sambuchino:

  1. What Does a Literary Agent Want to See When They Google You?

  2. Tips for Pitching a Literary Agent at a Writers’ Conference

  3. Querying Literary Agents: Your Top 9 Questions Answered
Filed Under: Craft
James Chartrand

Featured resource

How to Create Believable Characters

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253 comments

  • Thank you for this post. The quotes from agents are so useful.

    I recently removed several chapters of pure back story from the beginning of my manuscript. I had to write those chapters in order to learn about the characters, but they didn’t need to be in the book.

    Thanks again,

    Sarah

    • Rene' says:

      I got an idea from my super creative 10 year old and started writing one day. I’m not a writer, but I like what I wrote and think I want to try to make a real novel out of it. The problem is that all I have is a prologue. I don’t know where to go from here. I got online today for the purpose of trying to learn and see how to make this work. This feedback from professionals has been very helpful. I am glad that there are tools like this out there. Obviously, I need a lot of help.

      • I wrote a rather long short story once that was critiqued by a very well-known SF/F writer. She said it felt like it needed to be a novel.

        Perhaps your prologue is really a mini-outline of the book that really wants to be written.

      • Pat says:

        I’ve written only one book, but I can tell you what was very helpful for me. A book called “Take Your Characters to Dinner” by Laurel A. Yourke gave me very detailed instruction on how to write a good novel. I also enjoyed reading “Rivet Your Readers With Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson. There a many, many other books you could read, but I found these two books to be very simple to read and follow. They even give examples and writing exercises. Good luck with your novel; you can do it.

      • Dua Khan says:

        I’m also writing a book. Not written any prologue because I don’t like them. Reached 67 pages yet and am continuing. I’m boosting with ideas but will also need help and would be glad to help others too.

      • chris.p says:

        well I like prologues because it gives parts the story before it happens.

        • sharon says:

          I like prologues to. I have an awesome prologue but I can’t figure out how to start it. Its an awesome idea butt I’m only 14 and I’m not that experienced and I got obsessed on making the book perfect, so I just set it aside because it was making me stressed and I write a casual random-ideas-all-put-together kind of book. It really helped,and it was good practice too.

          • Katelyn says:

            I’m a prologue person too it’s more the beginings of chapter one that I have issues with I suck at beginings I can write a good middle and an end but give me a begining to write and I’ll literally be stuck for days as it happens I am right now …. I’ve re written it like three times and im just not happy with it it’s frustrating me

          • Mark Borok says:

            Ignore all this advice when you’re just starting. Just write whatever comes into your head, but keep in mind where your plot is going and what the point of the book is. When you have a first draft, you can go back and fix things, asking yourself if what you are reading is interesting, and if it helps the reader to understand the plot and characters. If the prologue doesn’t work, you can then throw it out or work it into the main part of the book.

          • Dua Ali says:

            I am 15! Nice to ‘meet’ another young writer! Hope you get it perfect and published soon. I would really like to read it.

          • Ted freckle says:

            Try: Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world.

          • Tori says:

            Mark Borok, I was eleven when I started on is journey. I had just finished Eragon (he does have a prologue.) and wanted to write an epic adventure too, of my creation. Since then, I’ve plowed ahead, and I have started over because I lost my copy, and such. Or I didn’t like it. At times it is stressful then the other half, it is very freeing! You can spill your anger onto the page and into your character, you can do whatever you please! You can go where you want say what you want. And my take on all this business is, everyone has opinions, everyone has something to say and all advice is different. Follow your heart. Is a common one, so why not do that. Deep breaths. There’s another repeated so it must also be good. So do that! Stress is a big damper of moods, but when you clear your head of “dos” and “don’ts” or even “donuts” things go a lot smoother. I like this blog, but I don’t want to be told what I can’t do, tell me what I can do! And I’m telling you, YOU CAN DO THIS! You don’t need a master degree in English!
            This is YOUR story, and this YOUR adventure. Take a deep breath, trust your heart, and dive in!

          • Trinity says:

            hi this is from a young writer I’im only 12) and i came on this site just to see how to improve my book (which should be out in 2018 yea!) but i just wanted to say thanks to all the people giving advice because it really helps

      • BrandiBlessed says:

        I’m in the same boat as you are,I believe I have a great story to tell just don’t know how to get it out there or where to start. I’ve been onine searching and looking for Ideas on where to start and I’m still lost any Ideas or suggestions?

        • Someone says:

          I had the same problem… I changed the first chapter for 5 times…
          but someone told me: if you wanna find something, then stop searching for it… so I stopped and I paid attention to the world around me… then I found it… I found how to begin the story…
          If you are thinking about writing a story, then you MUST write it… it may change so many people’s life…
          So don’t worry and go for it.

      • Daniel says:

        Find a writers group in your area if possible, or on line. They can give you feedback, suggestions, and encouragement along your journey.

      • Aleta Dye says:

        There are so many great books and U-tube videos on writing well. Chuck Sambuchino has several books out (all available on amazon.com). Also James Scott Bell, Holly Lisle, and Shelly Hitz. There are also a number of great blogs and websites on the writing process. This is one of them. You might also check out PnP Authors. This site gives you opportunity to write short stories, get feedback from other authors on what you wrote, with possible inclusion in a yearly anthology. It’s all free. Holly Lisle has classes on character and plot development, as well as how to write flash fiction. Most of her classes are only $9.99 with free downloadable worksheets. Hope this helps. Keep writing.

    • Jim MacKrell says:

      How is this for an opening line. ” Literary Agents are becoming more and more unnecessary but a enormous amount of time is spent trying to please those who probably can’t sell you work anyway…”

      • Nadine says:

        Literary agents may be unnecessary, but editors are not.

      • Yza-Dora says:

        Read an old post dated June 24th, but I agree with you 100%!
        Agents are a waste of time. I gave up after 2 years and went the self-publish route on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords. Good luck in your writing!!!

      • Exactly. Agents have proven time and again they aren’t any better than oridinary people at finding gold in the slush pile (which is an insulting term in of itself). My book features two of those sins (a prologue, and a character dying in the first chapter), but my readers have already proven that they connect well with the story and her death is not a mystery (it’s right in the description so you don’t feel cheated). If people like your story they like your story no matter how it’s dressed up. 🙂

      • john kneeland says:

        It sounds like you’re griping. Not interesting.

  • I am not published yet, but I hope to be in the future. I agree with some of these points, but there are others where I feel that the person making these comments is just … childish.

    A story that starts in a dream state, waking up to a point where basically everything you just read didn’t really happen. 1:) Such a thing can show the mental state of the character in question. Some may think it bogus, but dreams can have meanings dependent on the person having the dream. — If this makes you feel cheated, then my response to that is simply that’s your point of view. This does not make it a horrible way to start a novel. I’ve read plenty of novels with dream state scenes and I was not turned off. In fact, much of my current work focuses on dream states and flashbacks and mental reverie showing how my main character is warring within himself in regards to the happenings of his life. It portrays how disturbed and jaded he is. It can get repetitive, as with all things, but I won’t be filling the story with them. 2:) My point of view, I think it’s just fickle to want to put a book down for this reason.

    Laundry list description of character’s physical appearance. I agree and disagree with this one. Yes, it can get tedious some times, and take away from the story, but I personally like to envision the world and the characters in my mind as I read. I like to picture the story not just read it. I’ll never state specific definitions, such as heart-shaped face (Because faces are round. The head is round, the face is on the head, therefore the face is round.) or of Empire waists and Tight sleeves. My descriptions involve naming the type of clothing and a general description of how it fits. (i.e. Baggy pants) That’s it, and only when it is necessary. Sometimes, what the main character is dressed in is entirely unimportant.

    Perfection in character description. Let me just say, there are people with wind-swept hair, people with eyes as blue as the sky, but should I approach this from a different view? Why is wind-swept hair perfect? Why is blue eyes perfect? I’m a nature lover. Blonde hair is not my thing. I prefer redheads and brunettes, and one of my main characters has black hair and green eyes. That aside, perfection is unbelievable in my opinion as well, however, that does not mean that we should then label what perfection is. Some people pay attention to their hair, and take care of it till it is wind-swept. I do not consider this a symbol of perfect. In fact, someone who pays that much attention to their hair is foolish in my mind. Too much free time on their hands to keep from worrying about the real problems in life. And willowy figures? That has always seemed to me as a statement of how fragile they are; weak and breakable. No two people are exactly alike in appearance and just as that is true so is it true that no two people’s preferences are the same. While one person may regard wind-swept blonde hair, willowy figure, and sky blue eyes as perfection, there are some of us that are not inclined to view the “Master Race” as perfect. I’m Italian and everyone in my Italian family has dark hair. I have the lightest color hair in the family, and I have brown hair (because my mother’s side of the family isn’t Italian, and she’s a blonde). And no one in the family is willowy. Most are, in fact, more oaky.

    • Pucha says:

      I…okay I don’t really care about the other stuff you said…but…but are you serious? I hope you know that there are MANY different face shapes. I’m an artist. I study this kind of thing. That is LITERALLY the most RIDICULOUS thing I have read all night and I surf Tumblr regularly. Open up an anatomy book sometime dude. Or even an ART book. Study more. You obviously need it.

      • Michele says:

        Yeah, that and the head is NOT round. It’s egg shaped. Plus some other things you said bugged me, but the whole face and head are round bit is just wrong.

        • Perse says:

          Kenneth Morelli:
          Setting aside the fact that some people disagree with you on face shapes, I found your reply to be very comforting. We’re not picture artists, we’re book writers. I’m currently writing a book called Planet Greenhouse. It’s about a woman, Sandra, who takes it upon herself to correct the actions of a popular marine amusement park, BlueOcean. From the beginning, she refuses to tell her best friend what she’s doing, at first for fear of hurting Lynn and later for fear of being caught lying. Her husband Mike expresses his adamant disagreement with the protest, and when she doesn’t listen to him, he begins to feel more and more betrayed. The story starts with a prologue, where Sandra has already been arrested for disturbing the peace. She wakes up from a dream where the police caught her, and even though the story hasn’t started yet, we can see that she has plenty of internal conflict roiling in her mind over what she’s done. (See? The dream serves a purpose!) Through her interactions with Mike, we can see just how upset she is, and soon the story moves on to a few days in the past, which is actually her telling Mike her perspective on everything that’s happened. Three of my associates have read what I have so far and say it rallies with the other good reads they’ve read.

          When I first read this post, I thought, “Oh no, will no one like my story?” And then I saw all the different comments on this page…including yours, which basically speaks my mind. Perhaps there are recommended and not-recommended techniques, and the agents should definitely be taken seriously, but when it comes down it it, your book is *your* book, written about what comes out of *your* mind, and in the end it’s all about personal preference.

          Furthermore, Pucha and Michele, I don’t think artistic accuracy is the point here. It’s important to create a believable world, but do you really think it matters to the plot whether the character’s face is shaped like a heart or an egg? Personally, face shape description just distracts me from the rest of the plot. It’s unnecessary.

          • Sazanami says:

            Unless you are a professional writer, you shouldn’t think too much about whether other people will like your story. Write what you like yourself instead. If you like your story, that should be good enough. Invariably, there will be more people with interests like yours.

            Don’t put too much stock in a random quote pulled out of context. The criticism from someone that actually read what you wrote – and legitimately tried to enjoy it – is worth a hundred times more.

          • Eggs, hearts, and apples are round as well. Round and circle are not the same thing. All circles are round, but not all round things are circles. So yes, faces are round. But that’s beside the point.

    • mrvanessarose says:

      Here’s the thing: I think there are exceptions to every rule if what you have to offer is legitimate. What I took away from the agent comments were that if you’re going for these approaches to be gimmicky, to try too hard or to perform, don’t bother. If you have a creative way to implement these things or if they’re imperative to your story and you make them unique to your overall approach, don’t let some comments stop you. Also remember not to get defensive. They’re just offering their professional opinion because they read a lot more aspiring novels than I imagine you do. They know what’s been done over and over again and truthfully, do you want to be doing something that’s been done a million times? That’s up to you, of course. Your writing is yours, don’t worry so much.

      • john kneeland says:

        I think maybe what the agents are getting at is that they are reading things that are just not compelling. A great writer can make a prologue that will pull the reader right in. There is always something going on, whether it be external action or mental action. And by action, I don’t mean just a lot of sound and fury. I mean that something is really at stake. Anyone needs to examine what they’re writing and ask, What is this about?

    • Genesis says:

      Mr Vanesarearose I do get where u are coming from. For every rule they list I’m sure there are exceptions. However, I think a lot of it is not necessarily saying that its a sign of poor writing to break these rolls, but more that it’s been done so many times, even if you feel it’s right for the story you run the risk of looking boring overdone or the kiss of death “cliche”. Gasp! Lol.

      The truth is when literary agents look at the work of a first time writer they are looking for reasons to reject the work not accept it. So don’t give them any. They see a lot of crap. These are good tips of what not to do so that your work doesn’t get thrown on to the scrap heap before it’s ever given a chance.

    • James says:

      I’m sure you’ve read plenty of times each of these things has been done, and done well. But, not being an agent, I can only imagine how bad the stories they’ve read really were.

      Think again about laundry list descriptions. Every word of description slows the story; there’s no reason that the story should spend an entire paragraph slowing when you could put each detail with a different action. Sure, everybody likes to visualize the story, but there are details, and there’s trivia.

      If the characters ignore a detail, then shouldn’t we?

    • Furie says:

      The point with the laundry list descriptions was not that descriptions are bad, but that dumping a load of description all at once as soon as you meet a character is bad. By all means have flowing hair on a character, but perhaps have him or her brush it back as a mannerism. Yes, have them wearing specific types of clothing, but mention that as you get to know the character and make it worth knowing (For the first time since we’d met, she wasn’t wearing one of those over sized band t-shirts her dad had left her. I knew then that today…). Spreading the description throughout a piece lets you constantly build on the character and make them seem more complex and realistic. An info dump of description as soon as you meet them either leaves them hanging from then on or will be reiterated throughout the story. Either way it’s superfluous.

      Having said that, the laundry list of detail should be somewhere for you to go through. You can mark off things you’ve mentioned then and see bits of description that still can be fit into the book somewhere. It’s also handy to make sure you don’t mention they have green eyes in one spot and then blue in another. Just don’t put that info dump into the actual book, is all they’re saying.

      • Great explanation, Furie. As a reader, the info dump is frustrating to wade through as well!

        Heather
        TWL Assistant Editor

      • Jan says:

        One other thing …a laundry list of anything is unlikely to stick with the reader. Pick a couple of things about a character’s appearance, if that appearance is important to the story, and present them through the eyes of another character, if possible.

        If you’re writing a romance, and the protagonist meets her intended for the first time, what attracts her to this guy? There will usually be one thing about him that stands out, that pulls her in at first glance. What is it? That characteristic will stick.

        You can add other characteristics in a similar way as the story progresses, but an info-dump of hair colour, eye colour, age, height, weight, shoe size and overall body type will not stick.

    • Elle says:

      There’s a Henry James quote: “Tell a dream, lose a reader.” Using dreams in fiction is dangerous since readers generally interpret them as the writer trying to force-feed the reader a metaphor. You know, how everyone cares about their own dreams but not others?

      Anyway. Rules can be bent, but some rules can make you a better writer. I have to say though that I love that you say you hope to be published, and then proceed to complain about publishing advice. Not everything is written in stone, but take heed the experiences of those who have read a ton of manuscripts. They know how to ID good writing.

    • Sarah Anne says:

      I agree that dream scenes to start out a book can be effective. I think these people are just stating that opening a book with an intense scene that is later surprisingly revealed to be a dream is overdone. Personally, to avoid that, I’d just state right away that the character is dreaming, although indirectly (he “tossed and turned amidst the sheets,” rather than he “was dreaming”).

      Also, I agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I didn’t take what they said to mean physical perfection, even if that’s how they might have meant it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been turned off from a potentially good book because the main character has no personality flaws, the whole world is against him/her, but he/she can do no wrong, etc. It’s just not relatable.

  • Paul Garcia says:

    Excellent post Chuck!
    I appreciate the valuable information straight from the pro’s.

  • You know what? I had my doubts about this article, but after reading it — I agree with everything they said, because it turns me off too.
    — Let me add my own personal pet peeve — The book begins on a now, but they go back to tell the story. So basically they tell you where it’s going to end before they tell the story. I hate that.

    • Perse says:

      I would hate that too. But keep in mind that sometimes authors write a prologue that takes place only halfway through the actual story. Three of my associates read what I have so far (ten chapters and a prologue) of Planet Greenhouse, and one of them told me the mystery of how the story got to the point of the prologue had them riveted. Another suggested I pull a variation of the “surprise ending.” Surprise, readers: you thought you knew the ending but that’s only half of the story! That’s my current plan, since that’s definitely the direction the story’s taking.

    • Seanna says:

      Some stories that start in media res are actually quite good! But I get what you mean, though. When the story starts a bit too far into the plot, it can be really confusing/annoying. I find that the more experienced the writer, the better they can pull off the “in media res” start.

  • Ken Farmer says:

    I always get a kick when I read some agent or another decry prologues. Maybe someone should inform Clive Cussler…he of over one hundred and forty million novels sold…that prologues are not a good idea. Thanks for the laugh.

    • That’s because accomplished writers can pull off a great many things that the vast majority of writers–even some fine, well-published writers–cannot.

      • quickstride says:

        It’s not about being accomplished. It’s about the prologue being appropriate, as Cussler’s are…

    • There is a place for a prologue. However, most people haven’t a clue how to write one. You can tell this because they go on for pages. A good prologue is never more than one or two pages long, it provides something vital to the overall story that doesn’t fit into the regular story line and is always tightly written.

      • Neal Sayatovich says:

        I agree, mine is only 1.5 pages. I think they have a purpose, but people drone on and on with stuff that has no bearing in the story later.

      • quickstride says:

        Cussler’s prologues are often pages and pages long….and they WORK…because they are appropriate to the story…THAT is the important thing

    • quickstride says:

      Well said, but slightly misleading in my opinion.

      Cussler is one of my all time favourite authors. He writes genuinely enjoyable stories and Dirk Pitt is one of the best protagonists I’ve seen, but the fact that he uses prologues cannot be used to justify them.

      He needs prologues in his books, and NOT short ones. His stories are based on historical events and his prologues are never set in the present. They create a sense of what to expect from the rest of the novel, without telling you anything about what is going to happen in it. It is a masterful way of keeping the reader guessing, specifically because you are nearly constantly trying to figure out where the prologue is going to fit in.

      It makes you pay attention to the details and specifically to the dialogue, which I believe is one of the more entertaining parts of his work.

      Overall though, I think prologues are dangerous if not handled really well and I honestly believe that very few people handle them very well, regardless of the length of the prologue.

      It’s not about the word count of the prologue, it’s about WHY it’s being written…

      Just my two cents…

      Thanks for reading.

      • Perse says:

        Yes. All you people talking about prologues, I’m addressing you:
        It’s not quantity, it’s quality. A lot of authors don’t know how to use quality in their prologues so they go for quantity, and that’s what makes us think good prologues need to be short. No! I’ve written quarter-page prologues and four-page prologues and have received high praise for both! Just saying, it’s possible!

    • Gene in L.A. says:

      One of the first things we were told in a class on musical composition was, learn the rules so well that they come automatically, then you’ll know when and how they can successfully be broken.

  • Kay says:

    I’ve seen many a published author commit these sins; James Patterson especially, but he can get away with it!

  • Brian McGlynn says:

    I’ve been writing since my teens — I’m 64 now — and have made a great living at it. All of it journalism, much of it the legit kind and some corporate. I’m just starting on the road to fiction-writing land. Much of what Chuck wrote was familiar to me because I’ve been saying it for years to myself and my staff members. Yes, there are times when you can break the rules — color outside the lines, if you will — but the one basic truth is that a good story is a good story, and most are best told if the writer gets the heck out of the way and lets the story tell itself. Once you take the ego and personal angst/drama out of the process it’s really not that hard. The problem, of course, is finding a good story and a good editor.

    • Barbarann K. Ayars says:

      Oh my Goodness, Amen! Writing in the zone, when the left and right brain shake hands and agree to write the story after they’ve elbowed me out of the way, is when the works shines, when it’s fun, not painful, and I’ve allowed the little star of the story to own her own life right there on the page. That’s when the purple, the flowery, the over-written falls away and leaves me alone to just write it real. Nirvana. And rare.

  • I was just procrastinating my to do list of the day.
    1. Remove the boring backstory from chapter one.

    Thanks for the motivation!

  • Genesis says:

    Can I add one? Giving me 15 different character names in the first chapter to try to keep track of. Tip, only give characters that matter a name. The waiter doesn’t have to have a name. Just call him the waiter if the reader is never going to read about him again. It’s ok. You won’t hurt his feelings.

    • Aleta Kay says:

      I am an author with a lot of growing and learning still to do. My 2nd (and most recent) novel “Mending Fences” starts with a prologue that really should have been chapter one. It starts with action, ends with tragedy (not to the main character). The second chapter (labeled chapter 1) picks up the story seventeen years later.
      The main character does have a recurring dream, which doesn’t appear until later in the book. The purpose of the dream is him trying to figure stuff out about his life that his conscious mind doesn’t want to deal with. However, the dreams are kept to a minimum.
      It is self-published and currently only available as e-book. Self-publishing is great, but without someone to critique for you, you lose the opportunity to see where you can improve your story and correct errors before publishing. Once it’s out there, so are all of the weak points and errors.
      What I have learned: If I’m tired of reading it, put it away for awhile, as long as necessary, in order to come back to it with fresh eyes. Then take it to a writer’s group or study some of the books available from amazon and Writer’s Digest on self-editing and revision before publihing.

    • Sharon Todd says:

      A good example of not naming characters is used in the book “Balzak and the Little Chinese Seamstress” by Dai Sijie.

  • This is fantastic material! I totally loved it!

  • Looking at the Christian Novel advice I am floored. Do people really do that?

    • Nic Nelson says:

      Yep. Agents and editors just protect the literary public from them. Kind of like silent superheroes keeping out of the limelight; we will never know the deep debt we owe them.

      • Greta B. says:

        Ha ha, love it! But, that is so true! I can’t imagine how much horror they have spared us from… I just hope that my novel isn’t one of those horrors… I am writing a historical fiction novel on a topic I love but, it is very hard to write… I am not quite sure if that is a good thing or not.

        • Perse says:

          Sometimes the hardest books become the most brilliant. I think it’s a sign that your mind is working on a realistically complex story. Just take it through plenty of your own edits when it’s done.

  • K.E. Wright says:

    I think there’s a lot of good advice in this :))

    I’m an avid reader and I’ll just close a book and forget it for most of those reasons, though it concerns me that books can still get published with some of these!

    I do disagree about the prologue bit, though. I don’t use them often, but I usually try to set up something big in the story with a prologue –on one occasion, the death scene of a character that ends up motivating the rest of the story. I think that if they are written properly, a prologue can be incredibly important to a story’s development.

    It’s also good to see some of the genre clichés laid out, so I know some missteps to avoid.

    Thanks for some awesome advice, guys.

  • Mike McLeod says:

    http://Www.wattpad.com/mikemcleod3

    This is my first story its called Game On
    I would appreciate some feedback … I think I made none of the above mistakes

  • Our editors concur 100%. We see every one of these things, often. Many of these types of openings can be, and have been, done well (with the likely exception of the excessive adjectivia). But they are nearly impossible to do well by any but the most accomplished, experienced writer. If you’re Dickens, you can do pretty much anything you want. If you’re not, follow this advice!

    • Joe says:

      But how do you know that you’re not reading a future genius, like Dickens, who may be an exception, if you stop at the word, “prologue”?

      • Nic Nelson says:

        Three ways an editor knows they are “not reading a future genius, like Dickens, who may be an exception”:
        1. They already read the query or proposal that came with this excerpt, or they trust the agent that sent it to them, or they met the author in person at a conference and were impressed. Every submission arrives with some kind of context which increases or decreases an editor’s patience as they approach the manuscript.
        2. They understand WHY the bad beginnings don’t work. Detecting the existence of a prologue doesn’t trip an “Auto-Reject” circuit in their mind, though it might elicit a sigh.
        3. They love good stories. That’s why they are in this business. So if your prologue or your laundry-list-description is actually good, interesting, draws them in, then they will keep reading. At first this will be automatic, but editors are generally quite aware of WHY they like what they read. They will be conscious of how your clever prologue differs from the previous hundred info-dumps that crossed their desk that morning.. and why THEIR AUDIENCE will enjoy it too. Remember, editors are like designated shoppers, always looking for stuff their clientele will enjoy.

        Trust me, most editors have read more exceptions to these complaints than you or I ever have. They will recognize another exception when they see it. But if a certain kind of opening fails way way WAY more often than it succeeds, that’s when it occurs to them “Hey, I ought to mention this in my response to Chuck’s question about bad ways to start a story.”

        • Joe says:

          I just think, by and large, that agents are missing a plethora of good novels. There is a lot of crap being published, some make money, others don’t, but they are published on some obscure whim. There shouldn’t be any hard or soft rules to getting an author to print. I feel that it is much like the old Eddie Murphy/Dan Aykroyd movie, “Trading Places.” What if these literary agents actually stepped down from their “high horse” and took a chance on some hard working, struggling writers who aren’t polished? Would the literary world end? No, it might breathe a breath of fresh air into it. And the new authors’ ending might be better than any of Stephen King’s ending.

          • Nic Nelson says:

            Joe, I agree with you: I was reading out loud to my daughter and found myself editing it on the fly as I spoke, to make the prose better. (I do NOT normally do that.) Most traditional publishers responded to shrinking profit margins by laying off significant portions of their editorial staff, and the results are obvious.

            And yes, there are many “proud and lofty” agents out there who don’t remember what it was like to pitch their own work, and have no empathy for writers who don’t meet their arcane criteria for potential greatness.

            The good news is that there are a lot of “humble and hungry” agents out there who dream of finding a diamond in the rough and sticking with that unpolished but hardworking writer all the way through their increasingly-successful career. I know several of them personally, and they can attest that there are many more like them out there.

            The trick, for both author and agent (or acquisition-editor– remember all the small publishers and independent presses out there who are desperate to grow their booklists), is to find one another. That’s where WritersDigest’s agent-related stuff comes in: those “meet-the-agent” emails are like personal classified ads: “Journeyman Agent Seeks Bright Cheery Chick-Lit Authors” or “Fantasy/SF Agent, Branching Out to Mystery and Suspense: Seeks Unpublished Talent with a Jagged Edge to your Darkness”

            Even better: writers’ conferences. “High-horse” agents go to be admired. More relationally-intelligent agents (and acquisition editors) go fishing for new authors. Meet as many of them as you can. They WANT to have coffee with you during the break, or find your manuscript/proposal in their conference critique pile. Conferences are their best hope to meet new talent. You won’t fit everyone’s bill, but you could be just the author that one of them is looking for.

          • Joe says:

            Great stuff there. Thank you for the encouraging advice.

            Sometimes I get very jealous of all the American Idol/Voice/America’s Got Talent shows or the countless cooking channels/shows that give unknowns a chance to display their talents, and there’s nothing like that for writers. I often wonder where Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson or even Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Pickler, non-winners, would be without A.I. there to give them a chance. Would they still be struggling at their day jobs and hitting karaoke clubs at night?

            Anyway, thanks, again, for the advice. Much appreciated.

          • Nic Nelson says:

            …and there’s always self-publishing. I’m a writing coach as well as a freelance editor; I’d be happy to help you do this successfully.

            (In all fairness, I must say that James Scott Bell, Randy Ingermanson, Laura Christianson, Kathy Ide, the author of this blogpost himself, and many others that don’t come to mind, could all serve you excellently in this capacity too! Google around, you’ll find a writing & publishing coach in your city, I’m sure)

          • HS says:

            I totally agree. Prologues have their place. If I remember right, Tolkein went on and on with flowery descriptions. Now he’s an iconic writer. I think it’s OK to step outside the box if done the right way.

          • Joe says:

            Amen! I wonder if people would reject tolkein today because of his use of flowery descriptive language. Having any rules: hard or soft, to determine eliminate pieces of work is bad. Judge the writing by the actual writing, not because it has broken one of the silly rules.

  • Braye. says:

    Wow !!! So much don’ts that can fill a bucket. I wonder if established authors don’t make these mistakes.
    I like the tips, in fact I I wrote a book that began with the author waking up from sleep. I have edited that part.

    I think also apart from saying what should be avoided, we need to know what should be included.

  • lulu says:

    Thank you so much for this article.

  • Bob says:

    I’m trying my first novel…..I thought I knew what I wanted to say but every time I sit down to write my first chapter it just keeps changing! Either I get new ideas or my storyline changes….I am very frustrated. I have 17 dozen new first chapters! I got myself so confused I stopped writing. Help!

    • Michael Merillat says:

      Hi Bob,

      I understand what you mean about ideas continuously popping up. It sounds like, before you start your opening chapter, that you need to have a firm grasp of your plot (make it simple). If you are always coming up with new ideas or beginnings, perhaps you need to step back and figure out the story you wish to tell. Have you tried outlining? It can help organize your thoughts. It ends up being like a map for your novel. Or maybe you could focus on your characters. Try free writing with your characters. Put them in situations not relevant to your book and see what they do. Trust me, Bob, you are not the first writer, or the last, who has bumped into this problem. Good luck.

      • Aleta Dye says:

        Michael, thank you for your reply to Bob. I’ve tried mind-mapping with my WIP (a re-write of my first novel). I’ve tried outlining, but no matter what I did, it just sounded flat when I got started. Putting my characters in situtations not relevant to the book just might be the answer. I’m definitely going to give it a try. Thanks again.

  • Mike Paul Sanders says:

    Reading some of these comments by “literary agents” makes me wonder what exactly have they published. Prologues, when written well, can be extremely useful in grabbing the reader’s attention. But then who follows the rules? Look at pros Hubert Selby, Jr and Cormac McCarthy. Both have written incredible stories yet their books are a mess to try and decipher. Bother neither feel the need to add quotation marks around their characters’ lines of dialogue which gets very confusing when there’s more than one person talking. And both are masters of the compound sentences. In one passage of Requiem For A Dream, Selby goes on for nearly four pages without a single pause. It’s just “and, and, and, and, and…” My question is would these agents let a new writer get by with these same literary mistakes?

    • Nic Nelson says:

      Mike, scroll up and see my conversation with Joe. Remember the context of this article: agents and acquisition editors have to sift through something called a “slush pile” of mostly-poor-quality submissions. Agents especially get tons of submissions, and must get through them all somehow (and quickly or they won’t have time to do anything else). So, (1) they begin to see patterns in poor-quality stuff, and (2) they begin to make “rejection” choices quickly based on those “red-flag” patterns.

      The rest of us are not agents so we don’t know what patterns of badness they are seeing these days. And we would very much like to know what those patterns are so that we don’t accidentally send up any red flags when an agent reads OUR stuff.

      So this is actually not an article about Craft or Style, per se– it’s an article about submission strategy. If it were about Style I’d jump on your band wagon! I love well-crafted cumulative syntax; I love pointing out to “short-sentence nazis” all the beautiful LONG sentences in, for instance, Hemingway’s best work.

      But that’s also the point: consider how jaded some agents must become, reading bad writing 10 to 20 hours a week, sometimes more on a work-binge… for years. Imagine how delighted they will be when they realize they are suddenly six pages into a new manuscript (when they planned to stop at the third page) and are loving the way the author uses long complex sentences, mixing them with short punchy ones, and judiciously dusting them with unexpected yet perfectly-fitted adjectives? If that happens, OF COURSE they won’t right-click-delete that one. They call Hubert Selby back and say “I think I can find a publisher for you.”

      So if you LOVE your prologue and KNOW it is masterfully crafted, fascinating, necessary to the structure of the story, well, fire away! But also know that you are taking a risk by prominently labeling it “PROLOGUE” and failing to give some justification for it in your cover letter (not “it’s so well-written!”– tell why it is important to the tone or structure of the story). And even then you are taking a risk: your cover letter had better be convincing, and every bit of your submission “well-written,” or it’s done.

      Look again at how “Leapfrog Press” sums it up:
      Our editors concur 100%. We see every one of these things, often. Many of these types of openings can be, and have been, done well (with the likely exception of the excessive adjectivia). But they are nearly impossible to do well by any but the most accomplished, experienced writer. If you’re Dickens, you can do pretty much anything you want. If you’re not, follow this advice!

      • Joe says:

        Nic, you know I understand what you are saying. I just wish it wasn’t so. I wish agents/editors/etc. would understand that they may never find the next Dickens if they trash a piece of work as soon as they see the word “prologue.” Many of the other warning signs I agree with.

        • nikki says:

          I have never completed a book because of having children, but when I was being coached by my high school writing teacher she always told me the one way to pick a good prologue is to complete the book first, this goes for the title also. So I agree sometime prologues work when people find the riveting part of the novel to capture the readers attention. I also agree that editors should not throw manuscripts away just for reading the word prologue. I believe it is the prologue/ first few pages, that capture the readers hearts, attention, etc. Not just a single word.

          • Jan says:

            Totally agree with that, Nikki. Your high school writing teacher was spot-on.

            The opening chapter (whatever you call it) is where you give the book a strong push in the precise direction you want the readers to go. You won’t know exactly what that direction will be until you’ve finished writing your book.

            You do have to start somewhere, obviously, but there is no bigger waste of time than perfecting, re-writing, and agonizing over your starting chapter before you’ve written the rest of the book. Your beginning will inevitably need something else, and you’ll work that out during the editing process. For your first draft, just write your opener and move on.

        • Jan says:

          The funny thing is, now that “Thou Shalt Not Write Prologues Because Agents Won’t Wade Through Them” has become a common commandment for wannabe new authors, these authors will be hastily changing their Prologues to Chapter One when they make submissions.

          This won’t make them better writers. Nor will it eliminate the infodump.

          So what’s next? “Agents Don’t Like Chapter Ones, so Start With Chapter Two and You’re In Like Flynn?”

  • Journey Niemela says:

    I do not agree on some things. I am writing a book, and it began with a dream, and I got 110% by my big brother, who is fifteen, and I am only ten. My beginning, the main charecter is being told a prophecy in the middle of math class while she is sleeping. Her name is Skylar Flame. I really like books with the main person has a strange name. She has white hair, like Elsa in Frozen, and creepy blue eys, and a kind family, who everyone loves, but her. She sticks out in a crowd. In case you are intrested in my book, her is the auther, “Journey Niemela”. And yes, this is my real name. My book is going to be called, “Belonged to the sky.” Hope you people enjoy it.

    • Hi Journey, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Nic Nelson, above, has done a great job of explaining why these suggestions are good advice for authors:

      “So if you LOVE your prologue and KNOW it is masterfully crafted, fascinating, necessary to the structure of the story, well, fire away! But also know that you are taking a risk by prominently labeling it “PROLOGUE” and failing to give some justification for it in your cover letter (not “it’s so well-written!”– tell why it is important to the tone or structure of the story).”

  • JA says:

    I love this advice. I recently clipped two chapters (one of which was a prologue) from the beginning of my story for the reasons stated above. I don’t think I wasted time writing them because they were part of the process of figuring out my story, but for an agent/ reader, they aren’t necessary. Also, I think their removal lends the main characters a greater aura of mystery, which I like.

    I write YA, and one of my story-opening pet peeves in that genre is when the first chapter or two include a large pile of the main character’s reflections on how ordinary/ unattractive/ unspecial they are. It’s been done to death. I get that real teenagers have self-esteem issues, but in my experience they are RARELY as over-the-top in real life as they are in YA books. Though I’m now in my 20s, I also felt this way about YA protags when I was a teenager.

    Thanks for this article!

  • Very good post. From a person who has had the opportunity to read a random assortment of submissions to publishers, this is excellent advice.

  • Ade stone says:

    I had intended to use the back story of the main character at the beginning of a book I’m working on…I thought giving the reader a feel of what the protagonist had gone through would keep the reader interested and want to continue reading to find out how the protagonist ended up. I didn’t realize that was a turn off for a lot of people. I figured I would work the protagonist’s history into the plot line one way or the other. But what is blocking me now is that I have no idea what to use in the first chapter that would keep the reader interested and want to go on with the book. Any suggestions?

    • Nic Nelson says:

      Ade: Yes! Try starting off with your inciting event.

      When you hear folks say “Jump right into the action” they usually don’t mean “Pick an action scene at random and start the story there.” (although that’s a good writing exercise! Then everything that comes BEFORE that moment on your chronological timeline you can visit later as flashback, tantalus, or exposition, and everything that comes AFTER that moment unfolds normally– punctuated by any necessary flashbacks, etc.)

      But unless you love flashbacks and do them well, it makes more sense to “jump right into the action” with the inciting event itself: the scene that sets the protagonist irrevocably along the path of the story.

      If you have a complicated story with a large cast, different “main characters” may have different inciting events: begin with the inciting event for whoever will be your main POV character.

      This is just a suggestion of course– as so many comments here emphasize, there’s plenty of room for creativity and breaking of rules, as long as you realize what you’re doing so you can concentrate on doing it well.

    • Connie says:

      Ade:

      I had a very vivid dream and started writing it down because it was so vivid. I let the story write itself. If I tried to force it in a particular direction because *I* wanted it to go there, it didn’t “work”. So I wrote that particular scene and put it to one side. Invariably it found its own place, where it fitted into the story perfectly (for me!).

      Then I needed to tell how the characters got to where they were. It was only intended to be a few pages, but it grew and grew until it became a story in itself and became volume one.

      The dream became volume two. The story reached a climax in what became volume three. My dream became a saga, that’s taken the two main characters from their last years at school, through their late teens and twenties to their thirties; through triumphs and disasters, love and loss. The reader isn’t told everything about any single character in one go, but as the character develops.

      Can I pick up any one of the volumes and read them again? Yes, I can.

      Was it ever published? No, it wasn’t. I got fed up with all the rejections.

      Its future? I’m going to see about polishing it a bit/lot, then publish it as an ebook. If it sells, it sells. If doesn’t, sobeit, I’ll have tried. I won’t reach the end of my life thinking “I wish I had”.

  • Kimberley says:

    Oh I needed this post! So far I reckon I’m doing OK with my beginning (question is, how am I faring with the rest of the novel?!?!?!?!) I do have a prologue but it’s more of a first chapter (different point of view from the rest of the book, though). May think about reworking it! Kim

  • claudiacv says:

    I wish there were more post on what readers want/like instead of what agents like or don´t like. Maybe that would help bridge the gap between what gets published and what is really being read/bought.

    • Hi Claudia,

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You might want to check out this post on in-progress publishing — it’s an interesting way to see what your audience wants to read, and refine your work in response to that: http://thewritelife.com/publish-your-book-before-its-finished/

      Heather
      TWL Assistant Editor

      • claudiacv says:

        Two years later…
        Just stumbled upon your answer to my question. Thanks for answering! Sorry for not realizing it sooner.

    • lawrence says:

      My dear these guys must be going far. How can an agent’s will or like represent the general view. Readers are those who are in the right position to testify which story is interesting. Just see how they are contradicting each other. I guess a writing competition should be organized for them to see what they will really put out

  • lawrence says:

    All your teachings on you like and don’t Like on characters, opening line, paragraph and all you listed you don’t like are your personal problem of taste. That’s why when an author or a writer who worked all night speaking with his or her characters, writes his main character is sleeping, an editor or agent will prefer to say the character slept. Pick a novel of 19 centuries and compare it with the dance de mot authors publish today and tell me in which of the two you see the originality of an authors’ minds speaking. Again pick two different novels from two different authors published in 2013 and tell me how many related sentences you pick in them, how many same vocabularies are in them. If the World has 10 authors, they should be able to give out to the World 10 different ideas and not the same as you are teaching authors today.
    By the way, who is in the better position to say if a story is interesting or not; readers, agents, editors or the co-authors which you are?
    This is a general problem in many areas of life. Talk of foot ball, the African born and Portuguese international who died recently made the same comments in one of his interviews: that thee is no more pure foot ball in the World today if not the scramble for money. Talk of music, how many beatings do we have in the World today and what are this musicians saying? An Elderly Nigerien musician of late memory once said: Music today is a matter of buy your computer and chose the sound system you like. Unlike in the period when musicians have to search out for the required sound and rhythm of a particular music themselves.
    The the person who said he don’t like a novel where the main character died at the end of the first page. But as an author, I might chose to begin with the end and therefore kill my main character in page one. But coming to page two, I will show you the character who died in page page one was actually sent to go and buy a coffin. You mean you won’t be anxious to read on to see what happened? So leave authors to express their feelings and not the feelings of agents. I was bored seeing all you wrote there. They are simple true lies like the chapters of the bible that contradict each other. You advise authors to copy each other or write what you want or what themselves want? You teachings are for author who are still looking for a name in the writing World. An author who wishes to have a style cannot and will never follow your advise because the author will end up editing your will instead of writing what is happening within his mind.
    As for me, I have my own style. The day I found myself a writer was the day I adopted a style. Therefore, I always begin with the end in mind. The first chapter of my story is always the last chapter of the story.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lawrence. You’re right, the comments from the agents are their opinions. Of course, writers are free to disregard them and write what works for them — to each their own! As you mention, readers are also good judges, and many self-published authors can attest to that. Best of luck with your story!

      Heather
      TWL Assistant Editor

  • Cindy Sprigg says:

    I found this article very interesting except the comments on Prologues. Generally, I don’t like them either, but that said, there are instance where they become an essential part of the story. For instance as a setup point or introduction to set the tone and setting of the story. I have written many genre ; Science-fiction, horror, mystery, fantasy, thrillers and even children’s stories and in only one instance have I found a story that just called out for a prologue. The story I am working on now is a Medieval Romance. I felt it need one, to not only save many pages of explanation, but to introduce the narrator and set the tone of language for the reader. The following, I felt,is an appropriate prologue to do just that…..

    Gone are the lush forests of my youth. The trees now stand bare of leaves, as if locked within winter’s spell and the clear running streams that once meandered their way through the kingdom have long since dried up. I myself spent many a lazy day frittering away the hot summer hours, lost in dreams at the edge of one of these streams, while a worm at the end of my line teased a trout into biting.
    Through the eyes of an old and dying man, I look out over fields once ablaze with a rainbow of colours of the many flowers and wild grasses, now brown and overgrown with scrub brush and brambles. A land where wildlife once abounded and unicorns could frequently be seen, frolicking carelessly on a hillside, grazing at forest’s edge or drinking from the nearby stream.
    A land where the sound of children’s laughter was mixed with the cheerful sounds of the songbirds above was now a land where only the cries brought about by hollow bellies permeated through the stone fortress and its outbuildings.
    As the morning sun burns the mist off the hill tops surrounding the castle walls, I hear the sound of hooves on the cobblestones of the courtyard below. It was the King and his men, readying themselves for the morning hunt. I know that they will return empty handed, as they had every morning for many years now, ever since the unicorns left.
    And so, without further ado, myself being one of the older members of the castle’s inhabitants, I have taken it upon myself to record the story, before it is forgotten, of how a once thriving kingdom, one of the richest in the land, now lies in distress.

    • Hello I’m an agent but for commercial photographers and this article is the equivalent of what I call ‘asparagus on a yellow background’ – the images that creators believe are original but really aren’t. In fact I recently judged a major international prize and it was amazing how many surprising cliches popped up – bearded men for example. So I understand the viewpoint of those agents above and smile at those writers who are still trying to kick against the advice like angry children. My concern as a novice writer is that I may be guilty of purple prose. I love writing lyrically and am careful to feel the rhythm of my prose as flowing or punchy, not so different from Cindy’s above, but is that adjective heavy style butt-clenchingly cringe-worthy amateurism? If so I had better stop now!

      • Rebecca, I love the analogy of “asparagus on a yellow background” — too funny! It is interesting how often we think we’re creating something original, only to find it’s nothing but.

        It’s hard to say whether your lyrical writing is “purple prose” or not — have you tried running it by a friend or two? Their reactions might help you figure it out before you try showing it to an agent or editor. Let us know how it goes!

        Heather
        TWL Assistant Editor

    • Perse says:

      Wow, good prologue! Now I want to know what went wrong in the kingdom! A counterexample for all those prologue-protesters out there!

    • Line Editor From Hell says:

      I’m not against opening chapter prologues if done right. No info dumps. No tedious 3rd person world-building backstory. No unnecessary filler. No wasted words. No purple prose. Although Cindy Sprigg’s (posted 06-13-14) prologue example has the best intentions and the right idea, this is why it gets the rejection slip:

      The book killed itself in the second sentence. The first sentence was great, by the way. The wording was tight, the voice spectacular, the imagery vivid. It was perfect. It drew me in. The rest of the prologue made me cringe.

      Sentence two: “the trees now stand bare…” >ughCringeShudder< If you want to write a sentence wrong, this is exactly how to do it. Try, "The clear running streams meandering through the kingdom dried up long ago." Note the lack of double references to past events. ("that once" and "have long since") I only need to be told once in a sentence that something occurred in the past, not twice.

      Sentence three: "I myself…" Did I really just read that? Yep, I sure did. See above about double referencing.

      We're done here… congratulations on receiving a rejection slip after the first thirty-five words.

      It's not Cindy's use of a prologue in chapter one that got her book rejected. It's the writing that got Cindy rejected.

    • Line Editor From Hell says:

      For some reason, the post got garbled during the submission. This is how it was originally written:

      Sentence two: “the trees now stand bare…” ugh. I know it’s “now” I don’t need to be told it’s “now.” You established the “now” connection in the first sentence. “Now” is unnecessary. Try reading the sentence without the word “now.” It still makes sense. Also, the word “stand” is an unnecessary verb. I know trees “stand,” I don’t need to be told this. What I need to know is “The trees ARE bare of leaves…”
      Sentence two: the sentence has 31 words, it’s too long. I’m not a big fan of run on sentences connected by “and” “then” or “and then.” Try putting a period before “and”. Capitalize the word after “and”. “spell” ends the first sentence. “The” begins the second. Now read it. Much, much easier on the brain.
      “…the clear running streams that once meandered their way through the kingdom have long since dried up.” Cringe. Shudder. If you want to write a sentence wrong, this is exactly how to do it. Try, “The clear running streams meandering through the kingdom dried up long ago.” Note the lack of double references to past events. (“that once” and “have long since”) I only need to be told once in a sentence that something occurred in the past, not twice.
      Sentence three: “I myself…” Did I really just read that? Yep, I sure did. See above about double referencing.
      We’re done here… congratulations on receiving a rejection slip after the first thirty-five words.
      It’s not Cindy’s use of a prologue in chapter one that got her book rejected. It’s the writing that got Cindy rejected.

  • Patti says:

    Thank you for the writing advice! I’m one of the ones who hope to be published someday, and I will read any advice given to me by those who traveled these roads before me. I read something a long time ago about a writer who wrote a book and the editor told her to cut out the first 3 chapters…because that was where her book really began. When I write, I try to hook you with my first few sentences and then keep you hooked through the first chapter. And hopefully keep you hooked throughout the whole book!

  • Allyn Lesley says:

    Very good post. A few I was aware of, and some I was not. This will be helpful to me in my writing.

  • Michele Clark Powell says:

    Sorry, but all I can focus on is the game/machine behind Chucks head in his headshot… keno…

    So the jist of it is to not use too many adjectives, keep the characters relatable physically and leave the majority of the details to unfold throughout the story.

    If only.

  • Alan Garrett says:

    A lot of useful information thanks. But I don’t agree in skip out prologue. I think depending on story and setting I think prologue is a sensible option. Just setting the mood of your story and getting you intrigued.

    • I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Alan. If a prologue feels right for your story, then you’re absolutely free to use one! You just might not want to send it to one of the agents who specifically noted their dislike for prologues 🙂

      Heather
      TWL Assistant Editor

    • Zahra says:

      Hi. I don’t use prologues, but as a reader, I do like them. I even like epilogues! (*Ducks*).

      It’s difficult when agents tell you something you include in your writing makes them get stabby, but it’s best just to take the advice. After all, you want to give yourself the best chance, don’t you? We all know there are exceptions, but an exception is in a minority. Why take a chance on hitting an even smaller bullseye?

      • Nic Nelson says:

        Yes, Zahra! I like the metaphor of choosing the size of the bullseye you want to hit. I saw James Patterson mentioned a couple times as someone who “writes prologues and gets away with it.” E.Nesbit wrote long character/setting descriptions and got away with it, becoming hugely popular long after the Romantic Age writers’ windy style passed into disfavor. But those authors are like expert marksmen. Go ahead and take a shot at publication “their way” if you like, but I’ll pick some easier targets first to develop my skill. If I’m having trouble hitting the bigger bullseyes that are right up my alley (or target lane, so to speak), then I’m probably not ready for the itty bitty ones, despite how lucrative they may seem.

        Unless inspiration strikes, of course… but I need not tell you what’s languishing in my “Develop These Manuscripts” folder… 😉

  • Vance Rowe says:

    This article is filled with great advice but almost every “don’t do this” is how novels start out and is a little frustrating to read through. Especially the comments about descriptions and how someone doesn’t want to read about, for instance, how a woman has long flowing blonde hair and her skin is like alabaster. Her figure petite and a smile that that would brighten even the darkest of days, etc…

    I was always told to paint a picture of your characters so they can see them as they read. I agree there are some overboard descriptions and is not something you have to do with every character in your novel but some characters have to be descriptive so the reader can see them.

    However, when it comes to writing, I am my own my worst critic. If I read something I write, chances are I will hate it even though other people tell me it is good, and I throw it all away and start over. How can I combat this? Also, I have a problem with mixing up my tenses, past and present. For instance I will say something like “It WAS easy to see that his muscles WERE sinewy” instead of, “It IS easy to see that his muscles ARE sinewy.” I have to catch myself when I write like that.

  • Katie says:

    I hope there are exceptions to these. The end of the firat chapter the main character wakes up as if she was experiencing a dream. BUT that’s how every chapter ends. At least so far. She struggles with fishi MG out reality among the alternative universe she finds herself stuck in!

  • Brad Filippone says:

    Surely there are exceptions to many of these rules. The moment I read the one about not starting a book with “My name is…” I immediately thought of “Moby Dick” with its opening line of “Call me Ishmael.” And then I thought of “Great Expectations” which begins with the much more descriptive, “My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.”
    I agree with jumping right into the action, and “Great Expectations” is a great example. Following the self-naming paragraph quoted above, Dickens then gives us two brief paragraphs of Pip musing over his dead family members in the churchyard, before the convict accosts him and the action begins. It has always been one of my favorite novel openings.
    But speaking of Dickens, I wonder if his opening chapter for “A Tale of Two Cities” would pass muster with an agent today. It is beautifully written, (“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, etc”), but merely describes the general mood of the period being written about, and the differences between the two cities.

    • Barbarann Ayars says:

      Love this response. We hear so much of what agents do or don’t like, determining what is unacceptable or refused by the reading public. Guidelines become hard and fast rules. Why? Because they say so? As you point out, in today’s world the great writers of the past would never be published, and look at the wonderful tales we’d miss. For years car companies dictated what cars we should like. The convertible was scrapped because someone said we no longer want it. Really. Worse, they ignored the clamor for convertibles! Ditto paint colors. Green took it in the neck, never mind the extreme popularity of jaguar green. When did I ever put a book down, saying, gee, what a lousy opening line?

  • Ronald Doss says:

    I know some editors seem to hate Prologues, but sometimes I think they are useful. They can be short and describe an event that happened before the situation in Chapter One, and in that person’s POV, someone we won’t hear from again in the whole book. If it’s only a page or two, not rambling for 20 pages, then I think it can be very appropriate. The trouble is that some prologues I’ve read do ramble, and you don’t need to read it before beginning Chapter One. But I dislike the dismissal of prologues out of sheer habit. Editors and agents are not infallible, and they may only be reflecting a prejudice picked up by someone who taught them. I say, it all depends…

  • darkocean says:

    Thank you for this blog, I completely redid the first chapter of my book because of this. You know what I like my story a lot more now too. 🙂 Also you should mention that the main action has to be with the main pov, in my first draft it had started with a secondary pov, and this was confusing the heck out of people reading it.

    I always looking for constructive criticism to help polish my book. I’d appreciate it if any of you would take a look at my book and help me spot grammar errors, spelling errors, areas laking in transition words/phrases, boring spots, and excessive prose.

    My book in on wattpad.com in the fantasy category with the title of Soul Tear. You have to join to be able to post critiques and comments. Proofreaders are also badly need in wattpad as most members are ignorant about their books being needed to be looked over by a proofreader and think they have to immediately have their works looked over by and editor before the draft is even finished!

    This isn’t just about my desire to have help with my book but for the other members too. As I think having some one edit a fledglings anthers rough draft before they have even really let it grow is damaging to their story’s.I to did this until i learned better from researching in Google.

    So, please come wattpad proofreaders you are needed. I’m very good at making banners, photo editing, backgrounds, & website layouts and offer one of those as payment to who ever is willing to read my story all the way through.

  • Bronx says:

    If one does not like prologues why not just skip reading it? If the story that follows the prologue is enjoyable, then what does it matter that a prologue was included?

    • Jan Foley says:

      Because a well-written prologue is part of the story. Skip it at your peril. You’ll spend a great deal of time galloping through the rest of the story and wondering what, why and who. A prologue is not ‘optional.’ All it signals is that the chapter will be different from the others in some significant way. (Different narrator, different time period, different location, etc.) Trust the author. They chose this way to tell their story. Give them a chance to do it.

      • claudiacv says:

        I absolutely agree, Jan. Trust the Author. If you like what you´re reading, stick with it. If not, no need to read any further. But don´t throw a book out the window just because there´s a sign that says Prologue at the beginning.

  • Barabi says:

    This was a really interesting read! I’d have to disagree on the character descriptions dump deal, though. I can’t stand it when books don’t give an upfront description of their characters. There’s nothing worse than getting to chapter 23 and realizing you still don’t even know the protagonist’s eye color. You’ve made up your own character in your head by then, and it’s so off-putting when they finally reveal what they look like because they’re often completely different than the image you made up. It shouldn’t take more than a chapter to thoroughly explain what the hell they look like.

  • Don says:

    I don’t get what this is all about— everybody knows the best way to begin a novel
    is:
    “It was a dark and stormy night.”

  • Maggie says:

    I realize this is an old post but I had a question and l found this post one of the better ones for what not to do.
    I am currently writing what I hope to be a fantasy novel. No epic trilogies or anything, just a one village setting story. Anyway, a main plot point is that characters’ memories (and eventually the characters themselves) are starting to fade. I had originally started with a brief (like half a page) ‘dream’ sequence that is very obviously a dream. Main character wakes from this and has already forgotten. The dream is a bit of her memory, and dialogue in the dream is responsible for later plot development.

    My questions:
    Is this setup annoying/cliched/common?
    Even if it allows for later plot development?
    If I choose to keep this opening, is there anything I should avoid because it’s too cliched/common/etc?

    Anyway I realize this might not get a response, but since I’ve never seriously tried to write a book like I am now I’m curious.

    Thanks! 🙂

  • Vance says:

    I hate when books and movies start off with the protagonist dying and the rest of it is about his/her life up to this point. If I know the protagonist dies in the first paragraph or first ten minutes of the movie, it tuns me off to finishing it. Do not kill off protagonist until the end of the story.

  • Sheila Lewis says:

    I love the advice from all of you about opening chapters. However, there is a balance. On the advice of one editor, I threw out a back story in my children’s novel, only to have another editor tell me she felt she needed some back story. Finally, I feel just enough has been woven in. Keeping the “what happens next” momentum seems key
    no matter what. Thank you! Sheila Lewis

  • Skylar says:

    This has helped a lot. I am guilty of a backstory in the beginning. I know what I need to fix now!

  • I am thinking of writing my own novel based on fantasy. my fav books are Eragon percy jackson volume 1 and 2 and many others im 17 thinking of becoming a novelist can u guys give me some tips please

    • A. C. Spahn says:

      Ten things I wish someone had told me about writing at 17:

      1. Make sure you have a good backup plan. Even successfully published authors often have day jobs to pay the bills.

      2. Don’t write because you want to “be a writer” or “have written a book.” Write because you have a story to tell or a message to convey. Preferably both at the same time.

      3. Read everything, especially things that seem too hard. This is how you expand your imagination.

      4. Writing is work. Sit in the chair and write, even when you really would rather do something else. “Inspiration” is a lie.

      5. Your first draft will be terrible. Don’t get discouraged.

      6. Actively seek criticism, especially from harsh critics. It will hurt, and then you’ll learn to get over it.

      7. Listen to criticism. Ignore the “they just don’t get it” impulse.

      8. Learn from criticism. Sometimes a piece of writing can’t be saved. That’s okay. Move on and write better the next time around.

      9. If your story could easily be transplanted into an existing scifi or fantasy universe with no story lost, you have written a fanfiction, not a novel. (It’s okay. Everybody writes these, but after that you have to graduate to having new ideas, or new spins on old ideas.)

      10. Don’t take any one source of advice too seriously. 😉

      Hope this helps! Best of luck.

      • Dua Khan says:

        That was a very informative piece of advice, I have to admit. I am currently writing a novel but now I would rather call it ‘fanfiction’ as your point no. 9 says. And this made me think. I did add this ‘other universe thing’ and fantasy and all that, so I would just thinking that do I continue with writing it? Or leave it mid-way?

        Thanks

        • A. C. Spahn says:

          Glad you found my comment helpful. I don’t want to offer advice about your story without knowing anything about it. I can tell you that books that start out generic can grow into original creations once the writer thinks of that “hook” that makes their fantasy/scifi world unique. So there’s still potential. I’d ask some trusted beta readers what they think. 🙂

          • Dua Khan says:

            Well, I have read a lot of fantasy and science fiction books that quite made an impression upon me. They had a theme and a lesson and a story to guide it through. Specifically, I am inspired from their writings, the reason why I was encouraged to write. So, maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny wee bit chance to write something of use.

          • Dua Ali says:

            Thanks!

      • Jan says:

        I like this list a lot. Your advice of how to seek and take criticism is spot-on, especially the initial impulse to say ‘you don’t get it.’ No, they probably didn’t …but why? Maybe because the writing needs some work? That’s what feedback is for. To tell you what didn’t work.

        I’d add this idea to your Number 3 tip: In addition to sparking your imagination, reading voraciously gives you an ‘eye’ and an ‘ear’ for what written stories look and sound like.

        I’m constantly amazed at seeing posts from wannabe authors who never read, but saw some TV show they liked and now they want to be writers. They haven’t a clue, and end up creating a bunch of talking heads with no inner life at all. They need to learn how to create vivid pictures using nothing but words, and they’re not going to do that watching TV.

  • Tori says:

    How are you suppose to start a story? I am a novice, so some more help would be amazing!

    • Connie says:

      Logic says at the beginning but what does logic know? 🙂

      I guess many people plot their story out, I don’t. I just start writing when I get an idea. I let the story go where it wants. It’s how it works for me. That start point may be the beginning but it could equally be somewhere in the middle.

      Sometimes the idea works, sometimes it doesn’t, but I never discard anything.

      Go somewhere you can relax and let you mind wander where it will but make sure you have notepads and pens/pencils to hand. When something pops up, write it down exactly as it comes to you. It’s a first draft. You can polish it later. If you have a powerful dream you can clearly remember next morning, write it down exactly as you remember it. Let the story grow from there. The research to ensure it’s plausible and possible comes later.

    • Vance says:

      I was told by an author to “have the roof fall in” in the first two or three pages. Have something big happen to grab your reader and make him/her want to find out what happens next.

  • I would like permission to post this onto my blog. It’s an exceptional piece, and I think my readers would love it.

    Of course, you will get great praise and recognition.

    http://www.paguthrie.blogspot.com

  • Tionna.Watson says:

    I think that a prologue can help a person understaand the story more. It lets them no what is going on, why something is happening, and could even give away a lot of what will happen. I’ve been reading since I was in 5th grade and and have been writing since 7th grade. I’m a freshmen in highschool and I do believe that a prologue should be in every book. You don’t even have to read it anyway, just skip it if you want to, but besides that prologues can help out a lot. So that shouldn’t be something you shouldn’t put in a book.

    • Rosannie says:

      You have a point. I think it depends in how the prologue is written, because when it’s done correctly, it can be really interesting! Some amazing books have prologues- Eragorn, for one, and chapter one of Harry Potter is practically a prologue anyway.

  • Hi,

    I enjoyed reading these comments from literary agents. Bless them for sharing. I’m sure they don’t want to read a myriad of bad novel beginnings they’ll have to pitch.

    One thing, as a reader, I do not agree with. That is, the prologue. I’ve read many well-done prologues and it helps establish me, as the reader, into the mind of the character. If I am to follow the main characters, I love to know his memories of a perfectly awful time in his life. Without (hopefully, a suspense and tension filled) prologue I’d be poorer not knowing where “he/she is coming from” emotionally.

    I’ve been told by many in the business–don’t write a prologue. Make it chapter one. Hmm. A prologue is a prologue is a prologue no matter what you call it. It takes place before the story action. Or, a prologue can be what happened centuries ago or is happening across the world.

    Then, I read some prologues from some of the masters of thrillers/suspense/horror. Just to see what I really felt about prologues: James Rollins, The Eye of God. He has a prelude of a map and Historical Notes with the last sentence: “The date for the end of the world…it’s in four days.” Chilling. I’m all about “on with the story.”

    Stephen King doesn’t have a prologue per say. In The Stand, he has a Preface in two parts. First part to be read before you purchase the book. The second part we see in the movie. Where Charlie and Mary leave the army base in California headed east. If we know anything about The Stand that is a necessary part of the story. Mr. King writes it before Book 1. So, in my mind that’s a prologue.

    So, to me, a prologue should be “in your face” action that happens in the past or present, but leads me to the main dish. The novel.

    I wish literary agents would take another look at what a prologue can and should do vs the tons of bad prologues that do cheat.

    Thank you for listening. Loved the comments.

    • Jan Foley says:

      Well said. I totally agree.

      I don’t think new authors should be encouraged to pander to this silly prejudice against prologues, simply because agents have encountered some that are unnecessary info-dumps. Instead, new authors should learn the purpose of prologues, and learn to write them well.

      I imagine agents have also encountered bad Chapter Ones, but we’re not being told to just ‘start with Chapter Two’ are we?

    • Jan Foley says:

      I just ran across a suggestion about writing prologues that makes sense to me. Write your prologue LAST. In other words, write the story without one. Then if you still feel you need one, by all means write it.

      That’s what I did for my own novel, and I feel it turned the story around. My prologue contains an inciting incident in my main character’s past, that I had originally written as a ‘big reveal’ at the end of the story.

      The ‘big reveal’ at the end of the story, didn’t work very well.

      My main character is not the POV character. The other characters don’t know why he behaves as he does. Before I wrote the prologue, my beta readers were getting impatient, saying “what’s WITH this guy? Why is he acting so weird?”

      However, since I wrote the prologue, the READER now knows why, even if the other characters don’t. His behaviour is no longer a mystery to be solved. Instead, the reader watches how my MC copes with his past, and understand the pressures he’s under in the present. And of course, waits for it all to go pear-shaped when the past ‘returns’ …which it does. The difference to the story flow, once I added the prologue, was immense.

      • Eddie T. says:

        I can relate to Jan’s comment about writing prologues last. I wrote a 300 page (at that time) ghost story, and the ghost first appeared on page 50. A confused beta reader handed the manuscript back after 35 pages and said, “where’s the ghost?” This told me two things. 1) I needed a prologue to introduce the ghost to the story. 2) I had too much fluff in those first 50 pages that were not moving the story forward. So, I added a prologue and whittled 20 of those first 50 pages. As a result, the novel is better for it.

        A prologue is not a publishing Kiss of Death if done right. If you absolutely have to have a chapter one prologue, I have a creative way to look at it:

        Think of the prologue as a striptease. You want to reveal just enough to the reader in all the right places at all the right times. Keep me interested in what comes next. Reveal too slowly, and I’m going to get bored and go home without putting a single one of my fistful of five dollar bills in those spandex panties. Reveal too fast and I’m going to be in a state of shock wondering what just happened and why. No five dollar bills for you, either.

  • Jan Foley says:

    If there is anything that would put me off an agent faster than “I hate prologues” I can’t think what it would be.

    Prologues can serve many purposes. If the agent rejects a book based on the fact that it begins with a prologue—not on whether the prologue works or not—then I’m sorry. I’m not interested. I don’t want a prejudiced agent, and this silly prejudice against prologues really gets my goat. I’ve read many EXCELLENT books with prologues over my lifetime. The trick is to learn to write them well. They must be significant, and just as intriguing to read as any other chapter.

    There is a misconception that a prologue is like a preface or an introduction or a history lesson. It’s not. It’s a necessary part of a story. Skip it at your peril. The only thing a prologue signals is that the chapter will differ in some significant way from the other chapters in the book.

    Trust the author.

  • I do not understand the hatred of the prologue. Many novels have wonderful prologues that I as a reader absolutely love.

  • Larry Lou says:

    Great advice. Even the one on prologue. What are the chances of a beginner writing a great prologue or even just a mediocre one? So, better to avoid it.

    Wait till you write as well as Stephen King, then you can include a prologue, maybe even insert in between chapters nine and ten, just for the heck of it…

    • Jan says:

      I think I get where you’re coming from here, Larry Lou. However, I don’t entirely agree. The chances of a beginner writing any great story (without working to learn how to do it) are also slim. You wouldn’t suggest that people not bother to start writing, just because their writing might not be top-notch right out of the starting gate, would you?

      Avoiding writing prologues because you think it’s something a beginner can’t do just makes The Prologue achieve mythical status. A prologue is just like any other part of the book, really. Just learn what makes a good one, and write one if it fits your story structure.

      The folks who think you should just call your prologue Chapter One (that’s not you, Larry, btw) don’t understand what a prologue actually is, or what it’s used for. That’s the key, really. A prologue isn’t any more difficult to write than any story beginning. It’s just that you must understand what it’s for. That’s not hard to learn.

  • Sophie Wainwright says:

    I have an endless ideas tossing and turning in my head, fighting to be let loose. I see mountain peaks, I see forests, I see angels and I see dragons. But when I open a blank page, all I see is nothing. How do I transfer these images into words? Is that even possible?

    • Jan says:

      I’d say start by writing a scene that is vivid in your mind. Never mind trying to fit it into your story right away. Just write it down. You’ll be amazed at how your imagination takes flight once you’ve got one scene written.

      Many authors write scenes and chapters out of chronological order. Later on, when the story has taken firm shape, it’s easy to write more scenes to connect these scenes to the main story.

      If you’re not sure how or where to begin, just write what you see happening in these separate scenes. The story will take shape as you go. You don’t have to start at the beginning. In fact, until you know exactly where your story is going, it’s best to leave the beginning till later to write. The beginning launches your story in a particular direction, and until you know what direction that is, you won’t know what your beginning should be.

      Just start writing what you see and feel about a scene. It can help if you pretend you’re telling the story to somebody you know well. Somebody who will hang on your every word and who won’t be judgemental. That focus on a listener helps develop your storytelling voice, and makes it easier to start.

  • Lily says:

    What is automatically wrong with a rape scene in a Christian novel? It certainly grabs your attention. I can see lots of scenarios where that would work. Maybe it’s an inspiring story of someone who was conceived from a rape, maybe the story of the woman who raises a baby or gives it up for adoption, or has to decide whether to have an abortion or not. Just because it’s Christian doesn’t mean it has to be G-rated. Not all Christian books and movies are the Kirk Cameron style … some actually tell a good story!

  • Savannah says:

    I had like half a page or so of some backstory of how the character started her journey.. Is that too much? It’s just on how her people had left her and she couldn’t find life where she was at the time.. And then I jump into the story.

    • Jan Foley says:

      I’d say what you need to do is start with something that launches the story.

      If your character’s backstory is just ‘what went before’ —I was born, then I went to school, then I graduated and got a job—then I wouldn’t dump it on the reader at the start. UNLESS …you can pick out a significant incident from her past that was pivotal for your character, that made things change from what they otherwise would have been. That’s a very good place to start.

      Make it a scene that sparkles with life, that is just as interesting to read as the rest of the story. Work on creating emotional connections between your story’s start and your readers. Try not to turn it into a dull history lesson, about people the readers don’t yet know or care about.

    • Eddie T. says:

      If you MUST include a chapter one backstory or prologue my advice is SHOW me the money, don’t TELL me about the money. Show me why this matters, don’t tell me why it matters. Show me that the building gets blown to smithereens, don’t tell me that the building gets blown to smithereens because…

  • Wow, what a list. It could be pretty dispiriting at first, to read through the list and think ‘yep, done that. Yep, done that. Yep, dammit, done that too!’

    Ultimately though, the advice on this page will steer me away from cliche and improve my writing. For that I genuinely thank you! Shared.

  • Briana says:

    The last quote pretty much sums it up perfectly: you get to know someone over time, not all at once. I’ve never met (ok, maybe just once) a person who gives me a monologue about their life. Usually, it starts with a conversation, you have some sort of common ground with the person, and either a friendship takes off or you maintain acquaintance status. Or, if you’ve worked in customer service, you spill out a rant of mundane but friendly questions because you don’t really care to get to know the person, but you’re still not going to completely ignore them either. Anyway, everyone I’ve ever known really well I’m still learning about as life goes on. Some people have depression but not everyone who has depression is going to tell you that right off the bat. I think it’s healthy for an author to write out a backstory for each important character, but it’s equally unhealthy to slap it on the beginning of a novel. You have to equivocate those things and keep the reader interested by giving them only a smidgen of detail, enough to keep them going. If someone told me all about who they are, what they liked, and what they wanted to do in life, I’d probably roll my eyes and assume he/she was a narcissist.

    I think of a good biography when I think of how to tell a character’s story. Biographies are usually written for well-known people, and much of the details of their life are sort of a bonus to attach to what is known by the general public. A good biography might give a summary of what everyone already knows, but it hooks the reader by delving into a scene full of juicy literary goodness, and much of the time it’s a scene no one has had access to before.

  • Nancy says:

    Kenneth M. Get over yourself! That’s the best advice I can give you, all things considering.

  • Natalie S. says:

    My first novel had a prologue, and it worked just fine. I suppose whether you should or should not have a prologue depends on your story. Sometimes it is just a really bad way to put unnecessary chunks of backstory into your story.

  • Angela says:

    I have to agree a lot with these pieces of advice. While books that break these guidelines CAN be good, most of them aren’t. It’s not that they aren’t well written or that the story is no good. It’s just that it’s been overused. I’ve always been an avid reader. And I’ve read way more than my fair share of books. But after a while books with cliche openings and page-long details just get tiring. There’s thousands of books that are available, and if you don’t make your book special then chances are the readers are going to pick something else up. I think as a writer, sometimes you have to throw your pride and love for your story aside, and think ‘will this engage my reader?’

    Because it’s all ABOUT the reader. It’s about taking them along on a journey they’ve never been on before. It’s about them falling in love with your characters and your story. Sure, you can throw all advice aside, and write for yourself. But you’ll have to come to terms that everybody might not like it as much as you do. You made your characters so it’s easy for you to feel attached for them. You can drone on and on about how cool they are, and still love them. Readers don’t know them like that.

    After a while, I started putting down books that have similar openings. Why? Because I feel like they’re carbon-copies of other books. You don’t know how many books I’ve read that start off with someone waking up, getting ready, going to school, and two chapters later something interesting happens. Or someone dreaming. It’s actually come to the point where if I pick one of those books up, I almost automatically put it back down. I don’t have the attention span to read through gruesome and long details. I read to get away from real life. I don’t want to spend a hour reading about something I do to a day-to-day basis. And no matter how cool your character is I don’t want to see him sitting there contemplating life and his backstory. Give me action, or at least get the ball moving a little bit.

    I’m not some big-fancy macho editor or writer. I’m simply a reader. But if you want to appeal to readers, don’t be BORING. (Unless somehow you can incorporate being boring to the point it’s cool. I’ve seen that happen before.) And you don’t have to go to a full-blown action seen. A simple scene where a woman spills coffee on her pants and is worried because she has a date in a few minutes, is honestly more appealing to me than, “I HAD A DREAM ABOUT A GIANT BLACK BIRD IT SHOWS THE WORLD’S COMING TO AN END. I’M THE FREAKIN’ CHOSEN ONE!!” And then they wake up to their usual life and go through a boring routine.

    Basically, go wild. Don’t feel like you have to explain everything. If you love your story and characters enough, we’ll feel that. Show me conflict. Show me why your character is a hero. Show me why you made that character. Show me their struggles and hardships. Show me what true love is. Give me a story that will take me by surprise. Because YOU (writers-to-be) will hopefully bring me my next favorite book series. I’m counting on you guys to bring me good entertainment and exciting worlds. Just go for it! Don’t be afraid. And please for Pete’s sake, don’t start with a dream, waking up, or herb-gather. (It’s my biggest pet peeve.)

  • Tara says:

    I wonder if the agents that i have sent my work to even look at it? It would be nice to get some feedback even constructive. That way I could know why it is not desirable.

    I know everyone is writing fantasy right now but I believe in my work because this is the first story I have gotten past a paragraph of ideas before fizzling out. I wonder if I should just give up on submitting it and maybe join a writers club surrounded by people who will happily rip me and my work to shreds!

  • Erika says:

    This might seem like a weird question but, I am beginning to write a new book and am looking for tips on how to make it faster to go back and fill details or background, for example if I am developing my character and there is a certain trait or thing about him or an even he is involved in do you use any symbols or standouts ( for a lack of a better term) to kind of mark that spot so I can find it more easily when Im going back to fill those details in.

    Thank you

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