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Tag: become a better writer

4 Ways to Create (And Maintain) a Writing Habit

When I wrote my first book in 2013, I was newly married and working a full-time job. While writing, that dream of every writer’s heart whispered to me every morning: What if this is what you could do to make a living?

As I’d done for decades, I silenced that voice of hope with a quick and definitive, “Yeah, right. Nobody’s even going to read this thing.”

However, I’d just read Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. Spurred to fight Resistance, I wrote my 50,000-word book in six months by waking at 5 a.m. every weekday and writing for an hour — whether or not I felt like I had anything worthwhile to say.

I accomplished that by changing my mind-set. What I had once approached as a pastime turned into an obligation. Where once I’d wait (far too long) for inspiration to strike, I found W. Somerset Maugham’s words to be true: “I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.”

When I experienced the truth that a writing life is built upon writing—a novel concept, I know — everything changed.

When my hobby became my habit, my identity changed to match my expectations.

I no longer said, “I want to write.” I said, with confidence, “I am a writer.”

It wouldn’t be until years later — after I’d become a full-time freelance editor, author, and ghostwriter — that I’d learn the four-step habit-building process I’d unintentionally worked through.

And that education, ironically enough, would come through a book project I had the glad opportunity to assist with early on in its development.

Atomic Habits (for writers)

The subtitle for James Clear’s Atomic Habits, a New York Times bestseller, is An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. Its tagline is “Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results.” Through many well-researched examples, Clear presents reason after reason why a 1 percent change for the better every day is more beneficial than striving for one defining moment, or, worse, stagnating.

He also offers clear steps on the process of building better habits. Essentially, you need to discover your cue, craving, response, and reward. (Atomic Habits goes in-depth on each of these steps, and I recommend picking up the book for a fuller understanding.)

How to create and maintain a writing habit

To transpose his ideas to the writing world, let’s consider how each step could look in your writing life. Each quote below is from “How To Start New Habits That Actually Stick,” an excerpt of Atomic Habits.

1. “The cue triggers your brain to initiate a behavior.”

Your cue could be the place you write, the music you listen to, or the tools you use.

My cue was just getting myself from my bed to my office chair in less than ten minutes every morning. If I could get myself in front of a keyboard before conscious thought (a.k.a. Resistance) entered my brain, I could convince myself, Well, I’m already here. Might as well write.

Author and podcaster Sean McCabe automates lights in his office to change to a certain color when he’s scheduled time for himself to write.

I highly recommend using one or all of these cues: writing in the same place, at the same time every day, while listening to the same kind of music. As you establish your writing habit through repetition, your body and mind start to correlate that place, that time, and that music with, Well, it must be time to write.

Now, pause here to consider what your cue could be.

2. “Cravings…are the motivational force behind every habit.”

Clear notes, “What you crave is not the habit itself but the change in state it delivers.”

In other words, I didn’t crave getting up at 5 a.m., at least not initially. I craved the sense of accomplishment from being a writer working toward a long-sought-after goal. To be honest, I also craved the moment I’d be able to tell friends and family, “I wrote a book.”

Your craving may be the same, but it could also be to make money or a living through your words, or to earn respect for your opinions or skill.

Now, ask yourself, “What change of state am I seeking as a result of my writing?”

3. “The response is the actual habit you perform.”

Writers ought to have only one response to their cues and cravings: writing!

Of course, being a writer today requires far too many extracurricular activities, like promoting your list or pitching agents, but the habit you must perform without fail to become a writer and stay a writer is to write.

Yet, I’m willing to bet, most of us struggle to do that consistently for a host of reasons.

That’s why following Clear’s four stages of habit-making — which loop back upon themselves — is so helpful.

4. “Rewards are the end goal of every habit.”

Once your cue has led to your craving, your craving has led to your response, your response leads to your reward. You finally get to enjoy the fruits of your labors.

These rewards can take a few forms.

Maybe it’s the endorphin kick when you finally figure out your plot or when one of your characters surprises you on the page.

Maybe it’s the realization that you’re doing what you’ve always said you’d do.

Maybe it’s being able to talk about your work-in-progress because you finally have a work-in-progress.

For me, my reward was Pavlovian. I used Scrivener’s word count goal feature to meet my daily word count goals. Every time I’d cross that number, Scrivener would give me a pleasant ding and a pop-up of congratulations.

Eventually, I craved hearing that noise.

For all of those early mornings, my habit loop wasn’t about writing a book and whatever rewards could come from publication. Rather, my habit loop was much simpler: I just wanted to hear that chime, signifying that I’d met my goal.

And, by just getting 1 percent better every day, I eventually wrote a book, published it, and then turned that work into a career in writing.

That whisper of fear I once had has been replaced with a daily shout of joy: This is what I get to do for a living. (And I have incredible clients to thank for that.)

If you’re ready to transform your writing hobby into a writing habit, I hope you’ll experience the same kind of identity shift.

You’re not going to write.

You are a writer.

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February 14, 2019
Why You Need to Join a Writing Group (And How to Find One)
If you’re fearfully approaching your writing life this year, one decision could change your life and your writing.

While this decision should be cautiously made, and you may experience some trial and error in the process, I strongly advise you to consider my suggestion: join a writers group this year.

Years ago, I joined an in-person, flesh-and-blood writers group through a local arts program known as Art House Dallas. We met for two years. We studied inspiring passages about writing. We contributed chapters to a collaborative project that was outside most of our comfort zones. We listened to each other’s stories of failure and success. Multiple members finished their book-length projects at the time.

Most of all, we encouraged one another to keep pursuing the calling of writing that is both so challenging yet so rewarding.

That group made me believe I was a writer.

You need other writers

Since then, I’ve become a writing instructor with Writing Workshops Dallas and a public speaker for writers groups and writing retreats.

In the summer of 2018, I attended the God’s Whisper Farm Writers Retreat. I led a breakout session, but the most memorable moment reminded me of our deep need for writing community.

During a time where small groups of five writers shared pieces of their work for immediate feedback, Maria shared her poetry, humbly telling us in so many words, “I’ve rarely shared this with anyone.”

Her hands may have trembled as she handed each of us a printout of one of her poems.

We all read in silence. Then we all looked at her, then at each other.

I don’t recall who spoke first, but our feedback was unanimous: “Maria, this is excellent work. I don’t see how any of us could improve upon it.”

After discussing her poem, background, and motivation, we all sat in awed reflection. Then I may have been the one to ask the question that nearly brought tears to her face: “Have you considered pitching this to a publisher?”

Her facial response seemed to say, “That’s ridiculous. Who would be interested in poetry from some no-name woman in rural Virginia?”

Then she spoke with grace and humility, downplaying her significant way with words. After begrudgingly accepting our accolades, she spoke similar words to what I’d said myself before joining my first writers group: “I just never knew there were other people like me out there.”

Really, that’s the only reason you need to join a writers group: to know you’re not alone on this insane calling.

But, if you need more motivation to leave your desk, read on.

6 reasons to join a writers group

1. Joining a writers group will help you escape hibernation

If your writing life has been dormant for months (or even years), the right writers group will spring you into action — if not just to prove to your group members that you are, in fact, a writer.

2. A writers group will provide you with accountability

Some people can self-motivate, but even the most productive writers need goading from time to time. Procrastinating writers definitely need prodding. Untold thousands of people want to write a book every year; only a small percentage will ever meet their goal. What kind of writer do you want to be?

3. A writers group will motivate you to become a better writer

For instance, the Inklings was a famous writers group from 1933–1949 comprised of J. R. R. Tolkien, C. S. Lewis, and many other English writers. “Many passages of The Lord of the Rings found in the Inklings their first—and unfailingly appreciative—audience, much to the delight of their author.” The friendly but competitive spirit of the group spurred Tolkien to write a masterpiece.

4. A writers group provides inspiration

Hearing another author’s work-in-progress, celebrating their successes alongside them, or seeing how they overcome the inevitable frustrations of the writing life will all inspire you to keep at it. And knowing that you will have a group of people who will likewise celebrate alongside your successes is a great inspiration to do your best work.

5. Worthwhile writers groups ought also to educate you

While not every writers group is solely educational, education still happens, whether through hearing others’ feedback, learning how someone marketed their book or discovering a new tool or resource that’s just what you needed at the precise moment you needed it.

6. Finally, a writers group ought to be fun

Of course, it won’t always be fun, but if you’re going to get the most from your group, your group needs to be relationally healthy. And a sure sign of relational health is the group’s ability to have fun without losing sight of the reason for the group’s existence.

If your writers group is far too serious all the time, you might need to search for a new group. The writing life is hard enough without your dour writers group making it more so.

Now, since I’m sure you’re motivated to join a writers group this year, let’s get practical.

What kind of writers group should I join?

Not all writers groups are created equally. Not all are sanctioned by an organization. Not all are free to attend.

In other words, before you choose a writers group, do your homework.

Research the group online. Send an email or two to the group’s coordinator. Connect with current members of the group. Figure out if what the group offers and the kinds of people who attend are what you could commit to.

Unless the group quickly fails to meet your expectations, commit to the group for at least a year. You need that long to build the kinds of trusting relationships that the best writers groups need, especially for critique groups. (Wouldn’t you rather know the person pretty well who’s nicely ripping apart your work?)

Here are a few different types of writers groups:
- Critique groups tend to be the most common type of writing groups. In these groups, you’ll often bring multiple printouts of a sample of your work-in-progress for other attendees to read and critique. This feedback often happens out loud. If that’s your nightmare scenario, don’t join a critique group—yet. Then again, it’s better to receive in-person feedback from a few people you know than from the reading public on your launch day.
- Program-based writers groups, like the Nonfiction Authors Association, often bring in a guest speaker to discuss some specific aspect of the writing life. These are mainly educational meetings, but some will mix in critiques too. Again: do your homework.
- Discussion-based writing groups are informal meetings, sometimes without a set agenda, where writers can talk about anything they may be struggling with. They are essentially writing mastermind groups.
- Writing classes are not writing groups in the strict sense of the phrase, but they can be depending on how the organization or teacher leads the class. Some writing classes offer group help after the class, whether online or in person.
- Genre-based writing groups only accept authors who write for a specific genre, like romance or sci-fi. Their meetings focus on topics germane to their genres.
Finally, some writers groups may encompass two or more of these categories. That’s why you must research a group before attending so that your expectations are properly set.

Now, as to what kind of group you need to join, ask yourself, “What does my writing need right now?”

If your craft is lacking, join a critique group, an educational group, or attend a writing class.

If your motivation has dried up, join a programmatic writers group or a discussion-based group. If you’re serious about getting better within your particular genre, find a group centered on your genre.

If you have no idea what to choose, join the closest writers group to you that seems like a good fit and that you can commit to for at least a year.

That writers group just may change your writing life.

How to find a writers group

Lastly, how can you find a writers group?

Begin your search by locating in-person groups. Give yourself a reason to get away from your desk at least once a month.

Search “writers group” at Meetup.com. The results will show you writers groups within your preferred radius of your chosen city.

If you don’t find a compelling group at Meetup, search “[your city name] writers group” on Google. Click on the first group that seems interesting, then read as much as you can about them. For any lingering questions, email the coordinator. Put their next meeting on your calendar and force yourself to attend.

Lastly, for IRL writers groups, see if your city, area or state has an organization that aggregates writing groups. For instance, the North Texas area is spoiled by W.O.R.D., Writers Organizations ‘Round Dallas, a website that has compiled multiple writing groups in the area and sends out a monthly email newsletter listing every group’s events.

If you’re unable to find a worthwhile writers group within a drivable distance, or other issues may prevent you from venturing out of your house, online writers groups are a serviceable substitute. They can provide each of the same helpful attributes that real-life groups offer.

To that end, The Write Life offers these two excellent resource-filled articles for finding an online writing group:
- Instead of Bugging Your Family and Friends, Try These Writing Critique Groups
- 20 Facebook Groups for Writers You Don’t Want to Miss
The right writers group can launch your writing life into its next — and possibly its best — phase yet.

May you find your writing tribe soon!
January 22, 2019
Why Is Writing So Difficult? Here Are 3 Reasons Why

Writing is hard. Even the best writers think so.

Hemingway once said “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Anything that requires bloodshed is not easy — trust me, I’ve had children!

I’m the type of writer who agonizes over word choice. I read and reread my writing until the words lose meaning. I edit pieces a dozen times before I’m ready to publish.

My husband, who is also a writer, can craft a thoughtful piece in about 30 minutes. He may make a few errors, but he doesn’t sweat them.

My writing process is a teeth-gnashing-and-wailing situation while his is a Sunday drive.

It makes me wonder — why is writing so much harder for some of us?

Here are the three main reasons why writing is more difficult for some writers.

1. Crippling perfectionism

Try telling a perfectionist “done is better than perfect.”

They’ll say nothing’s better than perfect, that’s why it’s perfect!

The problem is, it’s nearly impossible to produce anything perfectly. Trying to do so will usually result in one perfect sentence in a piece no one will ever read.

Perfectionism is exhausting. Even when you try to make things perfect, they don’t end up that way. You just wind up annoyed and overwhelmed by the process. Sometimes you can be too burnt out to even start because you know that it will end in tears. That’s the worst thing about perfectionism — it can stop artists from creating anything at all.

There is no cure for perfectionism that I’ve found. The only way to get through is to slowly desensitize yourself. Allow your work to see the light of day regardless of whether it’s perfect or not. Show it to a trusted friend who you know will be supportive before releasing it to the masses. Put a limit on your edits or a timer on your revisions and make yourself stop once time’s up. Get comfortable being uncomfortable with your finished work.

One piece of advice that helps me is to tell myself I can always release a second version and there are no completely finished works. Keeping this in mind allows me to publish things while calming my inner panicked perfectionist.

2. Inconsistent writing schedule and being out of practice

Those of us who wait for our muse often get stood up.

Muses are notoriously fickle, flaky, and uninterested in inspiring us mortals to finish our projects. Waiting on the perfect time, the right mood, or the retrograde to end may lead to not writing as much as we’d like. Or at all.

We end up thinking about writing, wanting to be writing, dreaming about writing, but not actually putting pen to paper or hands to keyboard very often. Days, or even weeks, may pass between writing sessions.

Being out of practice or inconsistent with your writing schedule is a big reason for writing feeling difficult. When I wrote for 30 minutes each day, one of the biggest benefits I found was that writing got a lot easier. During the first week or two, thirty minutes would result in a few paragraphs. Near the end of the 30 day experiment, I was writing almost 1000 words during my half hour sessions.

Think about this: When you were a kid regularly playing on the playground, you could fly across the monkey bars with ease. Go to playground and try the monkey bars now as an adult. It’s insanely difficult! Your grown up body isn’t used to moving that way so it takes time for your muscles to remember what to do. You may not have the strength to make it past a few bars.

The same goes for writing. If you don’t use it, you lose it. The only way to keep your writing muscle strong is by actually exercising it. Doing so makes the whole process feel easier.

Set a goal of writing each day, for any amount of time, and see how much progress you can make.

3. Lack of confidence and fear of failure

It can be hard to stand behind your work.

What if people don’t like it? What if they call you the two most dreaded words a scribe can hear — a bad writer?

You’ll get over it, I promise. The thing about opinions is that everyone has one and they aren’t always true or helpful.

Some of the world’s most beloved writers were considered bad because they didn’t follow traditional grammar rules or couldn’t spell like Faulkner and Fitzgerald. Some of today’s most popular writers have been roasted by critics for “bad writing” like Stephanie Meyer. Even if you write something terrific like JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series, you still can’t please everyone. Her work was rejected at least 12 times!

Did it hurt these writers feelings that others didn’t like their work? Sure, I imagine it did. But they didn’t let criticisms or lack of confidence stop them from creating.

Good writing matters, but not as much as you might think. If you can make people feel things with your writing, it doesn’t matter if it’s technically perfect.

People are imperfect judges of everything. One person’s masterpiece is another person’s meh-sterpiece. Don’t let potential haters get you down. If you write for yourself first, you’ll always have at least one fan.

One of my writing mottos is “feel the fear and do it anyway.” I’m always scared to share my work, but no matter the reaction I’m always glad I did. And, as a bonus, every time I put myself out there, it gets easier to do it again.

You’re not alone

Writing is not for the faint of heart. Creating anything takes courage and optimism. If writing is hard for you, remember it’s hard for a lot of us. The important thing is to show up, sit down, and try.

You don’t have to reach any milestones to become a writer — as soon as you start writing, you are one.

November 8, 2018
4 Ways Reading Bad Writing Can Make You a Stronger Writer

When someone asks me what kind of movie I’m in the mood for, my answer will — 100 percent of the time — be “rom com.”

While I couldn’t make it halfway through the abridged version of “Jane Eyre” and I still don’t know how “Old Yeller” ends, I can zip through a sweet romance novel in a week.

I’m not supposed to admit that, probably, because I’m a writer.

I should appreciate the classics, complicated literary fiction and Oscar-winning screenplays. But I prefer bite-size entertainment.

And, so everyone will stop judging my mass-market paperbacks and Jennifer-Aniston-strewn Netflix history, I’ll argue it’s actually good for my writing, too.

If you need an excuse to put down “Infinite Jest” and enjoy a beach read this summer, here are some ways consuming bad stories can actually make you a better writer.

1. The story structure is obvious

The easiest critique of rom coms is we all know how they’ll end.

Boy meets girl. Girl hates boy for a few chapters. Boy does something sweet girl doesn’t expect (but we totally did). Girl falls for boy. Boy screws up, but we beg girl to forgive him, because by now we’re rooting for them. She forgives him, and they finally kiss once. The end.

No one watches or reads a romantic comedy to be surprised.

As readers, we enjoy the familiarity. As writers, we can learn from it.

When you’re new to fiction writing, story structure is hard. You think you know what a story arc looks like…but it’s not that easy, is it? And if you don’t hit the right notes at the right points, even amazing characters and a killer premise will fall flat.

In cheesy writing, the plot points are obvious. We see them coming, because they follow a tried and true formula: Conflict, climax, resolution.

Non-cheesy stories follow the formula, too — it’s just harder to see.

Watch predictable movies and read breezy books to familiarize yourself with story structure. Even your most creative and unique story should hit those important plot points.

Bonus points: Watch a trilogy (“Pitch Perfect,” anyone?), because the formula is even more obvious when you see it repeated by the same characters three times over.

2. The writer’s fingerprints are all over it

Beyond cheesy, formulaic writing, there’s just plain bad writing. This is where you can really hone your skills.

Bad fiction writing is rife with traces of the writer.

You sense when a character’s monologue about the breakdown of Western values is basically a personal essay from the author. You feel their valiant attempt at making the relationship between the mother and daughter fraught and relatable. You read oddly placed dialogue as an obvious spoiler for a later plot point.

Good stories don’t feel like they’ve been written. They feel like they just are.

When you read or watch good stories, you get lost in them. It’s tough to think like a writer and learn from them, because you’re so busy enjoying them.

You don’t have to mimic bad techniques to learn from them. Understand what the writer was trying to do — character development, connection with the reader, foreshadowing — and note how they can work into your own stories.

3. You can make it better

Learning what not to do is just as important as learning what to do.

I’ve hardly met a writer who doesn’t lament typos in published novels or the misuse of “lay” in a script. Some of us have even been known to keep a pencil nearby while we read.

Put that writer’s eye to use to recognize bad writing and make it better. Go beyond typos, and note weak sentence structure. Figure out why your eyes gloss over at a piece of dialogue. Recognize poor organization within chapters.

Rewriting bad books could be a great exercise to strengthen your writing muscles.

4. It’s easier to see what’s wrong in bad writing than what’s right in good writing

Good writing is solid inspiration, yes. We should all enjoy it and aspire to put more of it into the world. But it’s hard to learn from.

Good writing is inimitable. If you set out to write a Woody Allen movie, you’re going to fail.

If we could all pinpoint exactly what makes incredible writing so incredible, we’d all be Woody Allen. Or Charles Dickens. Or Dave Eggers. But it’s tough to map a formula for that kind of writing.

Instead, watch a B rom com, dissect the predictable plot and shallow characters and figure out how you could uniquely do that story better.

For a new fiction writer, working some depth into “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is a way more realistic starting point than trying to write the next “Casablanca.”

Enjoy your guilty pleasures — guilt-free

Next time you want to while away the weekend in the chick lit section of the library, do it without shame. It’s more than an escape from the depth of work and life you deal with day to day — it’s an important step in your development as a writer.

What are some of the best lessons you’ve learned from cheesy movies or bad fiction?

July 18, 2018
12 Traits Bad Writers and Toddlers Have in Common

So, I have a two-year-old daughter.

(Are you also a busy parent? Check out these tips for making time to write.)

I absolutely adore her. Don’t get me wrong.

But sometimes she drives me so bonkers that I just want to scream, “Why God, why?” while eating raw cookie dough in a closet.

Ahem.

After one such episode, I got to thinking about the things that toddlers and bad writers have in common.

It’s not that much of a stretch, really.

Toddler = not yet a fully-formed human.

Bad writer = not yet a fully-developed writer.

Here are 12 traits shared by 2-year-olds and immature writers.

1. Both are completely self-absorbed

Toddlers: I want ice cream NOW! (while waking up entire household at 6 a.m.)

Bad writers: I write for myself, not for my readers.

I don’t bother to provide entertainment or value to my readers.

It’s all about me.

2. Toddlers and bad writers have a limited worldview

Toddlers: I don’t like that kind.

I only like this kind.

I don’t want it.

Yuck!

Bad writers: I assume everyone shares my opinions and experiences.

I don’t consider other cultures or perspectives when I write.

If they don’t like it, they don’t have to read it.

3. They insist on immediate gratification

Toddlers: Me want to go swimming at the waterpark! (In the dead of winter, of course)

Bad writers: I want a perfect manuscript without the need to edit, a six-figure publishing deal for my first novel and a byline in The New York Times, even though I just graduated from journalism school.

Practice makes perfect? What a joke.

4. Neither can handle constructive criticism

Toddlers: On hearing that clothing might help keep their body warm, run screaming and naked through the house.

Bad writers: There is no such thing as constructive criticism, only haters.

I know my writing best.

5. Babies and bad writers make messes that they expect others to clean up

Toddlers: (Purposely empties boots full of sand in the car)

Mommy, there is sand in the car!

Get it out!

Bad writers: (Leaves their copy riddled with mistakes)

Ehh, my editor will spruce it up.

It doesn’t need to be perfect.

6. No matter the age, they just won’t listen

Toddlers: Sings “Let it Go” at the top of his lungs while dad tries to ask if he needs to go potty.

Bad writers: I’m an artist, okay?

They wouldn’t understand.

I’ll just keep doing me.

7. They throw a fit at the drop of a hat

Toddlers: I said I want “Moana” radio not “Beauty and the Beast” radio!

Wahhhhhhh!

Bad writers: My life is over! Woe is me! I am a broken man!

(After receiving just one negative book review, online comment or rejection email)

8. Immature writers and toddlers aren’t careful what they wish for

Toddlers: I want goldfish.

No, I don’t want goldfish!

Get it away!

No goldfish!

Bad writers: Man, if only I had more time to write, more freelance work and more social media followers.

(All of this comes true)

Oh, no! I am soooooo busy. I wish I had less on my plate.

9. Ummm…focus? What focus?

Toddlers: Look, a butterfly!

Mommy, I’m hungry.

Where is my blanket?

Bad writers: I only write when I feel inspired.

I jump around from project to project.

There’s no need to finish anything.

All in good time.

10. Both resist changes like the plague

Toddlers: Dad to toddler: would you like a different color crayon?

Noooooooo!

I only want this blue crayon!

Bad writers: Whoever said, ‘change is good’ was seriously delusional.

I abhor change.

New technology, clients, writing style, editorial guidelines, whatever it may be: I fight it tooth and keyboard.

11. Neither do what they’re supposed to do

Toddlers: Throws clothes down the stairs after being asked to get dressed.

Bad writers: So what if I occasionally skip deadlines, ignore emails and don’t follow through?

Nobody will notice, anyway.

12. They never say “thank you”

Toddlers: They just never say it.

No matter how many millions of times you politely encourage it.

Bad writers: Okay, so I’ve had a little help in my writing journey.

But my mentors don’t really need to be acknowledged, do they?

They live for this stuff.

I guess we all may have some growing up to do, eh? A writer’s work is never done.

Are you guilty of any of these “baby writer” tendencies? Leave a comment and fess up!

February 13, 2018
How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

It’s fashionable these days to be flexible in all areas of life.

The demands of your job are always changing, your family dynamic is in perpetual flux and news breaks in a flash.You have to adapt or you’ll be left behind.

However, I’m here to tell you that being too flexible can actually hurt your writing career.

If you don’t have a strong, unwavering foundation, our frenzied world will swallow you up.

And nothing is more vulnerable in this regard than your writing — the next “urgent” matter is always waiting around the corner to commandeer whatever time you thought you had to write.

Only by standing steadfast in your convictions can you protect your writing career against the ravages of the mayhem.

Here are three ways being inflexible can actually make you a better writer.

1. Finish what you start

Writers tend to be creative sorts, which is great for coming up with story ideas, but can be lousy for fulfilling long-term dreams.

The problem is that we often have so many ideas that it can be hard to stay focused on the project in front of us. It’s infinitely more exciting, after all, to start on something new than to plug away at the novel we’ve been writing for the last two months.

The truth is, though, that writing is like every other job — sometimes it really is just a job.

You have to grind through the tough and boring tasks of filling in your story and developing your characters if you want to reach your ultimate goals.

How many abandoned novels or blog posts do you have lying around right now? If you’re like most authors, the answer is, “too many.”

Wouldn’t you have been closer to “success” — however you define that — if you had managed to actually finish just half of those stunted works rather than moving on to something shiny and new when the going got tough?

I know I would have.

Be flexible with the projects you consider, but once you commit to something, you need to become rigid in your determination to see it through.

Be inflexible when your mind tries to tell you that a sparkly vampire YA novel would be so much more fun than the Western you’re halfway through.

Hold fast to your original conviction and finish what you started.

2. Protect your writing time

We’re really good at doing things for other people, and we hardly ever miss an “appointment” that impacts someone other than ourselves.

When was the last time you bagged a meeting at work or failed to pick up your son from soccer practice? You probably can’t even remember.

But when was the last time you went a day without hitting your writing goals or without writing at all? It probably happens all the time, or at least more frequently than you would like.

The problem is we inherently love to please people, and we hate to disappoint them. We’ll go out of our way to make sure we serve those around us even if that means missing out on something we really want to do.

You can fix this situation starting today, though, and you can do it without compromising on your commitments and without feeling guilty. The solution starts and ends with your daily calendar.

Specifically, you need to find the open spots in your calendar every day and then actually schedule them as writing times just like you would any other appointment. Tell everyone who might be affected by your schedule and share your electronic calendar with them if possible.

Now, the tough part — stick to your schedule!

You wouldn’t leave your son standing out in the rain after practice just because your neighbor asked you to help move some furniture, and you shouldn’t give up your writing appointment, either.

Make the time commitments to yourself and to your writing, and then be inflexible with regard to that schedule. Nothing short of a bloody emergency should keep your butt from that chair or your fingers from that keyboard.

3. Keep writing

Writing is hard, and it’s hard in all sorts of ways.

It’s hard to sit down and write every day when you know there will be days that the words just won’t come. It’s hard to keep pushing through your novel when it takes you a month to write 20 pages and you have 200 more to go. It’s hard to identify yourself as a writer when you haven’t published anything and you hold down a full-time job that doesn’t involve any sort of writing.

You know what’s easy? Giving up.

But you can’t do that because you are a writer. I know you are because you’re reading this article. You have stories to tell and messages to deliver to the world, and you need to accept that your words are worth hearing, worth all the hard days and nights.

You must be inflexible in your resolve to become the writer you know, deep in your soul, you’re supposed to be.

It’s a fast-moving world out there, and you can’t afford to stand still.

But if you don’t tap into the power that a little inflexibility can impart, your author self may get swept away in the tide of constant change.

Stand strong on your writing foundation, though, and you’ll be able to endure the chaos around you and ultimately achieve your goals.

What do you think? Can being inflexible actually help your writing? Let us know in the comments.

September 15, 2017
How to Become a Better Writer: 4 Ways to Deal With Criticism

There’s a reason many of us writers refer to our projects as our “babies.” We’ve spent days, months, or even years nurturing the idea and breathing life into every sentence.

After that intimate and solitary process, it can be nerve-wracking to ask others for feedback.

Even when we’re less invested in a project — say, a quick blog post for a client — it can still sting to receive criticism.

Although feedback is incredibly valuable, I still find this part of the writing process to be terrifying whether I’m writing an article for a client or sharing my novel with a beta reader.

Most writers will have to deal with negative feedback about their work throughout their careers, and that’s a good thing! Hearing thoughtful criticism on your work is what helps you learn how to become a better writer — but only if you’re receptive to it.

First things first: Change your mindset

Before you receive your next round of criticism, practice thinking of feedback as a gift.

Every time someone comments on your work, good or bad, it makes your writing stronger. It’s not a negative reflection on you, it’s an opportunity to become a better writer.

Plus, thoughtful feedback isn’t easy to give. If you’ve found a thorough first reader, an insightful editor or a client who’s really able to articulate their needs and collaborate during the writing process, cherish their involvement! It really is a gift to work with people like that.

After I consciously focused on shifting my own mindset about difficult feedback, I began to look forward to honest criticism — and even to solicit it from clients, editors, and beta readers.

Once you’re prepared with a positive mindset about negative feedback, here’s how to deal with it in the moment.

Step 1: Take a deep breath

It’s okay if your first response is anger, frustration or guilt — that’s completely natural. But what you shouldn’t do is stew in that emotion, or let it direct your response.

Take a deep breath, then spend a few moments collecting your thoughts. If you have time, take a walk, call a friend, or do something fun to otherwise distract yourself. After you’ve cleared your head, come back and consider your response.

Step 2: Vet your source

Not all critics are created equal, and not all feedback should be taken to heart.

When you’re first starting out, you may not have developed your own internal compass. You may be overly confident in your work, or give too much weight to someone who doesn’t really know what they’re talking about.

As you become a better writer, you develop a stronger personal rudder to help you self-edit and navigate feedback — but even when you know someone’s wrong it can still send you into a tizzy.

I once had a beta reader for a novella tell me only that she didn’t like it, and it didn’t make any sense. When I pressed her for more specific criticism, she said she didn’t have time to clarify.

Obviously not helpful, but just ask my husband about how I spent the next 24 hours stewing over whether or not I was a good writer!

Step 3: Categorize what you’re hearing

Once you’ve had a chance to cool down, go through the feedback again and try to understand exactly what you’re being told.

Is it a problem with how you are handling the topic? Do you need to tweak the voice? Did you not understand the assignment? If you’re writing fiction, is the problem with your story, your characters or your prose?

Taking this step will help you understand exactly how to fix the problem. At first glance it can often seem like everything is wrong — but when you start to categorize the feedback you’ll often see there are only one or two small things that need changed.

Step 4: Ask for clarification

Even if you think you completely understand the feedback, take a few minutes to make sure you’re on the same page. You may want to summarize the changes the person is asking for in an email, or hop on the phone to talk it through.

This is especially helpful if the feedback is from a client or editor — communicating with your clients can avoid future rounds of rewrites by clarifying things before diving into editing.

Do you have any favorite tips for dealing with difficult feedback? Let us know in the comments.

October 25, 2016