We writers are often dreamers.
So, today, I dream: of a splendid, magical world just for writers.
What does that world look like?
Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine the possibilities…
1. Ideas captured instantly
No more relying on those spare notebooks scattered around your office, car, purse and bedside table.
We’re going beyond voice notes. Way more advanced than speech to text.
Introducing brain to text!
Your best ideas are automatically transferred from your mind to your laptop, smoothly and seamlessly.
2. Café au lait, oh yay!
Free espresso, coffee and tea for all writers is the law of the land.
Not to mention the red-carpeted priority seating sections in all coffee shops designated solely for writers.
3. Your wish is my command
Every writer is paired with an experienced fairy godmother to help with pesky tasks like editing.
Not too shabby.
4. Just hit ‘send’
Mundane or tedious emails now write themselves, so writers can focus on their craft.
5. Relief for tired muscles
No more pinched nerves or aching back.
Simply text or call the mobile masseuse squad to work out those knots while you continue to write that masterpiece.
Plus, carpal tunnel syndrome no longer exists.
6. Wi-Fi wherever you roam
Free and reliable Wi-Fi follows you to every corner of the globe, so you can always meet your deadlines.
7. Phone a famous author
Have you seen the show “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”?
Remember how you can phone a friend for help with a challenging question?
Well, phone a famous author is now available to help you with the perfect word choice or story structure.
J.K. Rowling on speed dial? Sign me up!
8. Goodbye Stalin, hello Sylvia Plath
Any statues of dictators out there have been replaced by the likenesses of great writers, from Dickens to Dostoyevsky.
9. Stay in the flow
When you’re writing and in ‘the zone’ you can’t be bothered by trifles such as food and drink.
Enter a team of friendly robots to serve your favorite snacks and goodies.
Keep on writing while your new robot bestie stuffs your face.
10. Grammar girls and boys
Teachers find an engaging and memorable way to impart their knowledge of spelling, grammar and usage to children everywhere.
The masses finally understand the difference between your and you’re; and they’re, their, and there.
[The crowd goes wild!]
11. Keep trim while typing
Presenting the incredible, the one-and-only calorie burning keyboard!
Each word you type corresponds to the number of calories you burn.
You can go ahead and cancel that pricey gym membership, folks.
12. Books aplenty
Indulge your insatiable literary appetite with a lifetime supply of free books in every format and genre, in addition to no-wait library books, videos and audiobooks.
Pair it with ever-expanding bookshelf space, so you never run out of room for your collection.
13. Education for all
All people, regardless of gender or socioeconomic status, are given the opportunity to learn to read and write.
Bonus: those who wish to pursue a writing career attend college, all-expenses paid.
14. Recharge and rejuvenate in style
Need to take a few moments away from that manuscript or blog?
Jump on your neighborhood party bus, exclusively for writers.
Door-to-door service and a thumping dance party all in one.
15. No more boring speeches
Since writers run the world, only the most engaging and touching of speeches will be given.
Abraham Lincoln would be proud.
16. Love your laptop
Tired of searching in vain for a place to plug in your laptop while out and about?
The new Writer 2.0 laptops use the energy of your writing to charge themselves.
17. Curated cozy corners
Every major city houses numerous nooks for writing or reading — decked out with plush chairs, self-refilling coffee mugs, and a live string quartet (for ambiance).
Ahhh…this is the life. Doesn’t this writer’s utopia sound utterly fabulous?
Well, it’s not going to build itself, people!
Let’s get to work.
What would you add to this writer’s paradise?
Share your ideas in the comments!