Luckily, there is: aim low.
Let’s take a closer look at strategies that diminish your chances of progressing as a writer.
If building a successful freelance writing business is not on your agenda, pay attention and start taking notes.
1. Write for content mills
Their business model isn’t viable, and you’ll wind up earning peanuts and drowning in the deepest obscurity. You’ll probably turn up on Google’s umpteenth search results page. But won’t those clips look good in your portfolio? Unlikely.
2. Waste your time and money selling yourself short on bidding sites
If you want to avoid being paid a fair wage for an article, try lurking around sites like Freelancer, Elance, and oDesk. You’ll earn a fabulous $3 to $15 per hour regurgitating articles on topics you loathe. Do the math to see how many hours you’d need to work to make a comfortable living. Yeah…that’s what I thought.
Since you’re aiming for failure, keep postponing the outlining of your next article and delay reading that blogging ebook you downloaded for free ages ago. Have yet another snack, watch another episode of your favorite show and leave it all for tomorrow. Lather, rinse and repeat.
4. Expect to learn everything you need to know to grow your freelance writing business for free
Why pay for an online training session? It’s way too expensive. None of those “online gurus” practice what they preach. You’ll never see the return on your investment.
If you do go for it and pay for a webinar or course, and the trainer makes the effort to provide you with a recording, be ungrateful and never ever listen to it.
5. Don’t hire a mentor
Do you feel like you know it all? If you think you have all the answers, try writing a solid resource post with no research at all. Without consulting anybody else or asking for advice or feedback. You don’t need someone else’s guidance to help you with your strategy.
Keep admiring your role models from afar. Daydream about eventually becoming one of them without ever having to lift a finger.
6. Be a writer in a vacuum
Ignore the writing community. Don’t interact with your fellow writers. Attending networking events? Too expensive. Connecting with others on social media? Takes time away from your Fruit Ninja routine.
After all, other freelance writers are your competition, so what could you possibly learn from them? You sure don’t want to share any of your brilliant ideas, and they probably won’t either.
7. Treat your business like a hobby
Write only when you feel like it. If you’re not feeling inspired today, you don’t need to force your brain cells to produce any content. Nothing will come out of trying to brainstorm or free-write or using a prompt from another writer (see #6).
If you go out to get some fresh air, leave your notebook at home. Why would you jot down any new ideas that might come to mind?
8. Shy away from starting a blog to build your brand
After all, if you started a blog, you’d have to deal with readers and work on building an audience. And then you’d have to engage with that audience.
The commitment of starting a blog, updating it regularly and producing awesome content to attract subscribers is way more than you can handle.
9. Complain about how hard it is to be a freelance writer these days
You’re absolutely sure that none of the writers who’ve published their income reports are telling the truth. How can they earn that much when you’re still seeing nada in the bank?
They must be using some trick. Make sure you criticize them publicly on social media and in the comments section of various blogs.
10. Definitely don’t market yourself
That guest blogging thing? Too much of a hassle. Pitching guest post ideas to bloggers you didn’t want to connect with in the first place is the worst idea ever.
There are at least 100 ways to market your blog, but it’s easier to just ignore them all.
11. Give up
Earning a comfortable living as a freelance writer is impossible, so you might as well quit now.
There you are: 11 strategies that will blow your chances of ever creating a solid freelance writing career. Putting them into practice would be pretty simple, and would free you from the constraints of the writing life so you could move onto other pursuits, like checking out what your old chemistry lab partner is up to on Facebook, or reading up on the latest celebrity scandal.
It’s your call!
What are some other surefire ways to fail at freelance writing? Share your ideas in the comments!